love afterlife

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adam1461's picture
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Joined: 2011/09/01

and love i've felt for a thousand hers
imprisoned in tracts of robust bars.
For mine heart,a grave of million stones;
where lost child of ours love,hide.
and souls of many other reside.

And with ruin along,
rides mortal epiphany of my hundred years.

and ignorant heart in vapours dissolve
through years it swam in deeper swamps,
drowned in shores of fewer shores.
till afterlife,i drank blissful wine,
saw all thousand souls,
were equally mine.

WhatIAmOrWillBe's picture
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Joined: 2012/01/18
Wow.

Your ability is very powerful. I really enjoyed this one. I hope one day to express so perfectly the very same feelings. You have a fan for sure. Thank you for posting.

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WolfLarsen's picture
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Joined: 2011/02/08
Overall I think this is a

Overall I think this is a good poem with lots of good imagery.
However, I think it would be stronger without the rhymes.

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