Critique me

No replies
kubolchi's picture
Joined: 2013/02/11

Its the beat of the bass 

throbbing my body, vibrating my face

dancing, flashing, drugs entrancing, 

pop the X then my mind goes racing 

colorful euphoria, bright heaven, 

 popped four but I still have 7 

rub agiasnt, touch me, the senses enchanced 

all the druggies, everyone entranced 

live for this moment and this moment is me 

no evil only bliss, that is all I see 

raise my bottle of elixir 

pour some out and take another 

the words of the song take my hand 

show me around, take me to Ecstasy land 

numb from the treble 

such joy I termble 

a thousand people all sharing the nirvana 

its this thing that I everyday I wanna 

Robotic chips and modulations affect my mind 

another pill enters my body and I get left behind 

heart racing, body dancing, screaminf, cheering 

its the heart of the the experience, so alluring 

friendly stranger offers a hit and I accept 

shot stings but, I feel the liquid seep into my bodies depths 

surroundings change, faces morphing 

shake out a couple of morphine 
feeling like a god as I dance to the beat 

nothng can bring me down I feel elite 

nothing can bring me down im on cloud nine 

take another X, abuse my rotting mind 

intellegent thoughts all from a little pill 

dreams and reality blending, dont even know whats real 

rave forever, forever rave 

happily agree to be this pill's slave 

another pill enters my mouth 

thats when my mind completely shuts down 

I wake up in the middle of the floor 

check my pocket and there are four more 

pop them then the familar bliss comes upon me