LOOKING FOR CRITIQUES

1 reply [Last post]
sy75's picture
Offline
Joined: 2013/03/28

2 PEOPLE IN MY LIFE 
MEAN SO MUCH 
THROUGHOUT MY LIFE 
THEY HAVE BEEN MY CRUTCH 
HELD ME UP WHEN I WAS WEAK 
FED ME WELL 
WHEN I NEEDED TO EAT

STUCK BY ME 
THROUGH THICK AND THIN 
NEVER ALLOWED ME TO EVER GIVE IN 
PICKED ME UP WHEN I FELL 
LOOKED AFTER ME 
WHEN I WAS UNWELL 
MOPPED UP MY TEARS 
WHEN I WAS UPSET 
I REMEMBER WHAT YOU'VE DONE FOR ME 
I'LL NEVER FORGET

SO HAPPY 
LUCKY 
SO GLAD 
TO HAVE YOU TWO 
FOR MY MUM AND DAD 
THE BEST IN THE WORLD 
THAT'S A FACT 
THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU'VE DONE 
WITH LOTS OF LOVE 
FROM YOUR YOUNGEST SON

overgrown's picture
Offline
Joined: 2014/09/27
i think its good. i like the

i think its good. i like the thick and thin/ never give in line best cause its end rhyme is more than one sylable. even and dad/a fact sound tighter. keep it up. this is the best kind of poem cause its meaningful. about simportant important to u