Wanting honest feedback

No replies
tsnider711's picture
Joined: 2016/07/15

Every light turned on 

100 watts in each socket 

Trying to rid myself 

Of this black cloud over me 

Deserving as it may be 

It's to much by myself 

Over powering 

Never releasing its grip 

A steady stream of pain

Dead end streets 

Holding back tears 

Confidence stealing 

24/7 reminding me of regrets 

I can't change 

So close to the end of hope 

Thinking going blackface 

And rob Zimmerman 

Be  sucicide  by a racist 

can't believe I want out 

Of this thing I use to love 

robbed myself 

Stole my smile 

Tied myself up 

And put me in da passenger seat 

Drove so far out 

That if i turn around now 

would still take 53 years 

To find a way back 

Maybe find Stan 

Give him the keys

Have me swimming with his ex

Cause I ain't worth 

The worry , stress , pain and tears 

I cause others

Pray some nights 

 my loved ones  would just forget me 

 no memory of me 

Instead of him

Should've been me 

Countless times got drunk thinking of that 

Then had 8 more 

Cussing the world over losing him  

And to the reader of this 

Believe me 

These words ain't for a pity party

A poor me speech

Look what I been through bullshit 

It's a honest confession to the world 

I fucked up me by myself 

While knowing it as I'm doing it 

Now To weak to relearn how to live ,love , or give again 

Fuck I can't find the want for another breathe 

Hard to go on 

After losing yourself 

Hard to show face 

Knowing next time I show face 

Judgement already been made 

Hard to feel respected 

When you forgot to respect within

Hard to think about memories from yesterday 

While looking in a mirror seeing myself today 

Useless waste 

A shell 

 a what could've been 

No goals 

No dreams 

No hard dick for master baiting 

No money for a whore to give me a hand

Maybe it's time to start turning out these lights 

Say my silent goodbyes

Maybe I am bipolar but 

I don't give a fuck 

Maybe an asshole 

But I don't give a fuck 

But Maybe this is what started it all 

People trying figure me out 

Trying to label me 

And you know what 

I don't give a fuck

I'm not white , Christian, a wigger, atheist, good or bad guy, nor gay , bi or straight , hetro or metro , tall , obese ,  a dick or pussy , 

I'm taking it all in

Without  thinking I have to make excuse for me to be just me 

Because you know what 

I don't give a fuck