I wanna go back!!!

I call out

in the middle of the night

wondering what to do



who am i

where have i been

how long have i been asleep for



i look at the clock and roll my eyes

so tired

so tired



i go back to sleep  and my dreams come back

leaving the airport

for my journey home

takes my toll



i am on the plane, sitting down

crying

wishing i could have been there longer



i miss you all.. but i miss one person most

i miss you so much, i want to come back



i want someone to come over and tap me on the shoulder

and ask if i'm ok



i'll tell my story, share my thoughts

tell them about who i've left behind



i wanted to give you a hug before i left..

but i dont think i should have done so

so i didn't



i want to go back



for hours i cried



i left you behind

back with your other friends

i still can remember the sound of your voice

the expression on your face

i wish you felt the same way



do you?



why do i?



i don't know



i'm torn between my feelings, my choices in life

wanting to forget it all.

but i am glad i am taking it hard,

because it makes me stronger..

but i cried on that plane till i couldnt cry anymore



i picked up my mug and got out of my seat

with a pain stricken face

red from crying

asked for some hot water for my cappuchino



and finally someone said are you ok?



and i broke down again.. dropped to my knees, covered my face

cried for 15 minutes...

she kneeled there with a hand on my shoulder asking if i were ok

she helped me up as i cleaned up the spilled coffee

went back to my seat, and put on the headphones listening to the song that reminds me of you the most



i dont wanna go

i wont leave

the ticket says i have to

i have school the next  day



i pick up my book to read, but i cant concentrate on the book.

i put it down and offer the girl next to me a stick of gum

as i fight back the tears cause i've left you behind

i dont wanna leave i tell myself..

should i say i got on the wrong flight and go back?

should i call you and tell you how i feel?

i think not



because i dont know how you'd take it

what you'd think

because a guy shouldnt feel this way for anotherguy

it just aint fair!

i want to go back!!!

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