I call out
in the middle of the night
wondering what to do
who am i
where have i been
how long have i been asleep for
i look at the clock and roll my eyes
so tired
so tired
i go back to sleep and my dreams come back
leaving the airport
for my journey home
takes my toll
i am on the plane, sitting down
crying
wishing i could have been there longer
i miss you all.. but i miss one person most
i miss you so much, i want to come back
i want someone to come over and tap me on the shoulder
and ask if i'm ok
i'll tell my story, share my thoughts
tell them about who i've left behind
i wanted to give you a hug before i left..
but i dont think i should have done so
so i didn't
i want to go back
for hours i cried
i left you behind
back with your other friends
i still can remember the sound of your voice
the expression on your face
i wish you felt the same way
do you?
why do i?
i don't know
i'm torn between my feelings, my choices in life
wanting to forget it all.
but i am glad i am taking it hard,
because it makes me stronger..
but i cried on that plane till i couldnt cry anymore
i picked up my mug and got out of my seat
with a pain stricken face
red from crying
asked for some hot water for my cappuchino
and finally someone said are you ok?
and i broke down again.. dropped to my knees, covered my face
cried for 15 minutes...
she kneeled there with a hand on my shoulder asking if i were ok
she helped me up as i cleaned up the spilled coffee
went back to my seat, and put on the headphones listening to the song that reminds me of you the most
i dont wanna go
i wont leave
the ticket says i have to
i have school the next day
i pick up my book to read, but i cant concentrate on the book.
i put it down and offer the girl next to me a stick of gum
as i fight back the tears cause i've left you behind
i dont wanna leave i tell myself..
should i say i got on the wrong flight and go back?
should i call you and tell you how i feel?
i think not
because i dont know how you'd take it
what you'd think
because a guy shouldnt feel this way for anotherguy
it just aint fair!
i want to go back!!!