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(*01) Defining Emily
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Emily Her veins no longer scream,
for their white poison.
She has learned to live without,
self inflicted numbness.
Her bed is warm and dry now,
the streets and their ways,
have been laboriously eliminated.
Dutifully domesticated,
but unsure of who she is.
The four walls feel confining,
on her darkest days,
coming clean was defining,
but the definition vague.
I really like this ..."dutifully domesticated", thats very good! It all remains vague for a long time, but the pieces do fall into place and the puzzle looks something like a whole in time.
Whether this poem is based upon observation, fictive imagination, or even autobiographical knowledge is none of our business. The poem is what it is, a construct of words, and it should be approached only in this way. The brevity of the lines does well in this kind of poem; they bespeak an immediacy, and the distress of remembering the time and place where these events happened. And yet, consider her use of the word "laborious"---that stretches out on the line, dragging itself out as the experience must have dragged out. Any other word would not have been half as impressive at this point, but our Poet knows exactly what word to deploy, where, and when. And the final word of the poem---vague---echoes and echoes after the poem has been read. While some may feel that the poem is unpleasant; and others may try to pry into the provenance of the poem (again, none of our business); the poem itself works as a poem, and it is good, and it is Rae's. And that about sums it all up.
Starward
Very intriguing poem here. A pretty dark one. I have actually felt this way numerous times in my life. I'm not sure if this is your typical style, but I look forward to reading more of your work to get a better idea. Or perhaps you don't ascribe to a particular style! I should read on before making assumptions. I really enjoyed this one. I'm not really sure if there's anything I could suggest to enhance it at all.