Longing
Hole
Soul
Cold.
A man, many men, hurt, moved on.
Crayoned patterns left burnt on my heart.
Dissaray and I pray that I'll stop lusting and feeling lonely.
Wishing I didn't need strong arms to hold me.
I need God, I need to be saved, but I've been dipped in the rush of another guys trap, caught up in his promises to do right.
I am leftovers, last night's curried shrimp and white rice.
How could he be a liar, when he seems so nice?
Lately his smooth dark skin has been touched by my imagination.
Lately my mind has placed his lips on my most tender parts.
But I don't want him to capture my heart.
Fear.
And the rational side is saying "Cherie you have a right to be scared."
Why is he getting me so excited?
Why do I respect him so much?
Why am I so infatuated with the thought of his presence?
The feeling I used to feel when Craig would shock me, by his cheating.
I never want to experience that feeling again, of loving someone and giving them your all, and having them knowing that and still break your heart.
And I feel I could fall head over heals for this guy.
But the smiles he gives me now could turn into brokenhearted cries.
I don't want to hurt and I don't want to fight, but he's the only one I like.
I don't want to someday wish I could go back in time to make a desicion I should make now.
Longing.
Soul!
Hole!
Cold!
God, tests, failing, spite.