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grotesque
perhaps i'm not so picturesque,
as i feel the insects crawl up and suffocate me
my only regret is that
i'm too grotesque to match your radiance.
your star-studded eyes shine & sparkle in the black,
and all i can do to stop from disintigrating in the darkness
is scream.
i want to be the gleaming butterfly
you hold, so delicately, in your palm -
but all i can ever be is
the self-destructive centipede that hides beneath the stones.
i've learned the term "love" is for the beautiful ones
yet i crave it, ache for it, need it,
as if it were a narcotic.
perhaps your hands can heal these hideous gashes,
have them cease to bleed
and save me from my worst drug - myself.
soft. protective. warm. perfect.
i only wish i could infuse myself with you
flawless attributes.
i'm nothing - a void, a blank space wrapped in flesh.
fill me, fix me,
show me i am capable of love.
i may be grotesque but i know your heart
can heal the blemish.
xx
