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I Wish I Didn't Need You
I wish I didn't need you,
But you mean so much to me,
You convinced me that my soul was free,
And I didn't need death.
I need your shoulder to cry on,
Through my many blinding tears,
But you no longer wipe away my tears,
Using your wonderful hands,
So I can't find your shoulder to have a good cry.
Instead of stopping the tears,
You make them come alive,
It's like rivers flowing down my cheek,
Into the ocean of tears and blood on the floor.
Even though you cause me nothing but pain,
I need you to make it disappear,
But I have to realize you won't be there for me anymore,
And I must find a way to move on.
But this feels to be impossible,
It feels so out of reach,
And once I feel I've reached it,
It slips from my grip.
And the more I reach,
The more pain I take in,
The more the tears begin to pour.
I would much rather be dead,
Then to not have you,
I just want you back as a friend.
Friends like we once were,
Before what happened had to occur,
And we can just spend time together,
Instead of finding ways to hate each other.
And I know you hate me,
I can feel it when I look into your eyes,
Those beautiful eyes,
How can they possess so much hate,
This makes no sense at all!
I try to hate you in the very same way,
But my eyes only send out love,
My horrifying, ugly eyes,
They cannot tell a lie.
You use this against me,
You make me bleed,
Make me suffer,
Make me cry.
And if I could just let go of you,
Let go of the blood, suffering, and tears,
You can bet your life I would.
But there is something about you,
Something I don't understand,
Something invisible to my eye,
But I keep on getting closer to falling deeply in love with you.
