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4 AM @ JOHNNY'S ( 4 ADRIAN)
4am @ Johnny's
And they would talk
til'
4am @ Johnny's
talk bout' things
that she would never
let seep through
like water out of
spaghetti
And she the one w/ a
fine tuned ear would
not only listen, but hear
til'
1 day she (the talker) met a man
lookin' like he was a doped up
lead singer in
a heavy metal rock band
And now
4am @ Johnny's is
closed.
I loved "she would never let seep like water out of spaghetti". through out your poem I couldn't help but wonder who Johnny is. Also I thought there were to many distractions taking away from you poem. I think that to keep the audience's attention you should get ride of some of the numbers and replace them with the word. But otherwise I liked the poem.
One of the best piece of contemporary writing
in this forum. Yeah, i love this.