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The Taste of Bleach
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The Influence its not the size of the trials before me
its the size of the trials inside me
witch leaves me to this hellish world of over thinking
lying awake creating scenarios and replaying them
over and over until you believe them
A blank stare in the midst of work
trapped in my head. leaving my ethics to fault.
its true I cant break this
I wish there was a way
to kill what is inside of me
I crave the taste of bleach to cleanse my sour thoughts
Its a respiratory system failing
relieving me from feeling and breathing.
just this sick and twisted belief that faith is fiction
I just wish there was a way to break this addiction
to isolation and pain.
inside i am screaming
the creature inside me is scratching at my cage of flesh
Its bound to break out and i am bound to break down
the euphoria is gone. this wonderland is gone.
Its the same grind. that grinds your bones to dust over time.
kill me with calamity. No need for remorse make it quick.
This is faulty thinking. its always when things are looking up
when I wish to take this life of mine
and make it collapse and fold over
where I am lying unconscious on the floor
waiting for a savior. no more praying to empty hands.
I wish a heart attack make me stop breathing.
the air is thick and not worth retrieving
only a few will understand these statements
its not a plan in the making
just flawed thinking
I don't want to be alone.
for one second. my mind wanders.
searching seeking for things to alter a state of mind
Its all to much. a closed case crazy.
Left for myself to self evaluate my emotions
most of the time I am wrong with my predictions
kill this creature. kill this demon
kill this conscious kill this beast
for it is killing me.
from inside out. from outside in.
its dwelling within. laughing.
sinking its teeth into my veins
internal bleeding, as i scream in my head.
apply these chemicals to my skin
and burn these feelings away from my body.
I am the influence I am under.
The influence to harm myself to save another
to harm myself to save myself.
an ironic paradox.
as I lack the iron in my blood
to give me the strength to overcome
this corrosive state of mind.
