PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

My childhood was wonderful

That is, until you couldn't understand me

You turned to others for help

As if they knew me

Better than I knew myself

But that was not the case

That was not what I wanted

I wanted you, both of you

You took me to family therapy as a child

Thinking that would help

But that would not help

That was not what I wanted

Not at that time, at least

I wanted someone to listen to me

I wanted you, both of you

You started me on medication young

Ignoring the true problem

But my anger was not the problem

Meds were not going to help

Again, I just wanted someone to listen to me

I wanted you, both of you

Did you know I was bullied for being different?

I was picked on by my own peers

All my life I was subject to this torment

By my own cousins, as well

My own siblings-at-heart

Maybe they didn't mean it

Oh, but it sure did hurt

I wanted to talk to you about it

I came to you, over and over

But you ignored me, again and again

And I got frustrated and angry

So you put me on more medicine

And made me go to facilities

Thinking that would help

But that was not going to help

I wanted you, both of you

Did you know that I was different?

And that being different is really a gift?

And that gifts like those are rare?

They are given to those who can handle it

And I can handle it

But you didn't know that, did you?

Because I couldn't tell you that

You ignored me, not understanding

But I wanted you to understand me

I wanted you, both of you

Did you know how much you hurt me?

When you told me I was "unfit to be a mother"?

That I was, in your eyes, unstable?

No child, despite their age, should be told that

By their own parent, nonetheless

But yet you told me that

And my instability all stems from my childhood

In my eyes, at least

Where I wanted you, both of you

Did you know how much it hurt?

When you told me my now-husband was unstable?

And that he was never good for me?

And you said he "Brainwashed" me?

And you denied us the right of marriage?

And you dictated how our relationship should be?

Not every relationship is like yours, you know

Not every relationship is perfect and without flaw

But you never let me tell you that

So we had to marry in secret

And it all stems from my childhood

Where I wanted you, both of you

Do you realize that it's wrong?

To have an adult sneak out just to move out?

To do such just to better themselves?

To not acknowledge their trauma?

Trauma that you inflicted?

Both unknowingly and unwillingly?

You thought it was best to not let me move out

Not until I bettered myself, that is

But I could not better myself there

So I had no choice but to move out

To do what I did, to go where I went

The toxicity there became too much for me

But it all stems from not being there

When I wanted you, both of you

You always said you read about diagnoses

But yet you say every case is different

Reading about things can only do so much

Take what you read about and work with me

Not against me, like it seems you are doing

Please try to understand me

All this stemmed from not being understood

When I wanted you, both of you

Now, do you see the repercussions of what you did?

Do you see how I felt all my life?

Do you see how the arguments were from resentment?

And not from actual anger, like you say it was?

Do you see why you had three options and not two?

Do you see why I get frustrated with you both?

Because, in my eyes, you were never there for me

When I wanted you, both of you