Too old

Too old..


No wrinkles just sagging skin. Loose strands of black hair shuffle between my thighs why? Because I’m too old. Elbow skin tough, rugged soul like wrangler jeans but with impromptu feelings of unsatisfactory thoughts as I scan my teacher I realize, I ain’t shit my ass is too old. Start over and get your life is a scream of tantrum of my inner Tamar who is holding up a force field shield to protect my heart. My heart, why is it so fragile with feelings and emotions because my ass is old!. My gut is not as strong so I can’t tolerate too much ignorance at one time why? Because my ass is old. 


Trying to figure out what the hell Maya Angelou be talking about in her poems was as baffling as to watch a slain gang member funeral on live tv. Praise and acknowledge me now, not when I can’t see you coming because my ass is old. Old is a proxy label of degrading your youth to a uncertainty of confusion and accepting the demise to understand and accept your time is dwindling.  


iPad in hand with numb fingertips trying to get your point across to a room of undeveloped ovaries is a procrastination of post it’s googling life but not understanding it. Demonstrating your true self within your herd community protects you until a virus of negativity slowly creeps in and infects us all. I can’t live your world, I can’t wait for you to formulate the confusion that sits in the palm of your hand I am too old and set in my ways. 


Waist training spirits with a Herbalife spark is motivation to some but it’s my enemy. Why because I’m old. I’m so old that my cursive writing is reverting to pre school chicken scratch before my fingertips. My oldness have taken over my spirt and is arguing me down that Air Jordan’s at my age is a reach for acceptance within my urban playground. 


My youth left me at the age of 21 when I birthed my first son. I knew I was gonna be old like right now. I cried at the sight of my abdomen looking like a balled up trash bag,I screamed when my breast looked beat up, I yelled when my hair was shedding and my teeth was hurting due to this oversized cocoon I just hatched. 


Now that’s old ass hell, when you consider your uterus as an cocoon.