Toxic Love
This love isn't what it's suppose to be.
You getting drunk and then yelling and screming at me.
Your insecurities make you vulnerable and weak.
Anyone can drive you crazy. All they have to do is speak.
Your insults and threats, I'm really getting tired of.
I'm getting ready to walk away from this toxic love.
I don't know why I care about you.
For some strange reason I keep forgiving all the messed up things you do.
I keep forgiving you without you even trying to make it up to me.
I believe you think, this is where I need to be.
But I will take half the blame of why this has been going on for a long time.
Im just glad I've had a strong spirit and mind.
You think that because I'm strong, you can treat me unfair.
Oh how you were wrong. My strength has given me strength not to care.
I'm beginning not to care about what happens to you when I leave.
Even if that means you getting drunk and wrapping yourself around a tree.
Don't get me wrong, I dont want that to happen to you.
I hope you find happiness is whatever it is you choose to do.
And yes, I still love you more than you know.
But I can say that as you still watch me as I go.
It will hurt. It will sting.
Leaving you will make me want to scream.
It will be hard and I will cry.
There will be times I will want to come back or die.
But that strength you loved in me.
It will remain my friend and now become your enemy.
It tells me that this love that I think I feel, isn't love at all.
Especially since I give big and you always give small.
Isn't it suppose to be the other way around.
When you mess up, shouldn't you beg for my forgiveness with your needs on the ground.
You know, I finally see what you didn't want me to see.
All this time, you trapped and suffocated me.
You won those battles but you will lose this war.
Through tears you will beg me to stay, but I will still walk out the door.
Your so-called friends may say oh she will be back just wait and see.
But never again will you hear from me.
You know why? Because I dont deserve the the things you do or the things you say.
I deserve a love that makes me smile most of the day.
I deserve for someone to love me right.
Not someone who always want to argue and fight.
I deserve a love that doesn't feel like lost hope.
I deserve a love that doesnt feel like I'm under a microscope.
Saying there is something going on with every guy I know.
It was a mistake being with someone whose insecurity is high and whose self esteem is low.
Do I believe you love me. I highly doubt.
This was not the path to love. You should have taken a different route.
If this was your way of showing me that you love me.
Then we need to part and live our lives separately and immediately.
All the getting drunk and grabbing a knife.
It will one day cost one of us our life.
I'm throwing in the towel and taking off my gloves.
I'm finally walking away from this TOXIC LOVE.