Painting in blood

Folder: 
Self-Harm

I painted a picture today,
watch as it dries.

There's only one color,
not blue or green,
only red.

I paint the picture of despair,
of innocense lost.

I paint the pain and guilt,
mixed in with the anger.

I paint grief,
loss of someone I once loved.

He captured my heart,
freed it from it's iron cage.

He loved me, but I couldn't stay,
so he let me go.

I flew from him,
leaving him to die,
scarred and heartbroken.

I paint another picture,
this one's clearer, deeper.

He didn't love me,
I thought he did but I was wrong.

I gave him everything I was,
and he stabbed a sword through me.

I paint all of these pictures,
ones no one will ever see.

I paint one last picture,
this one of love and surrender,
of security and happiness.

I know I shouldn't paint these images,
that I could slip, cut too deep.

I sit alone in the familiar darkness,
letting the rain fall on me,
feeling the blood travel down my arms.

I've painted my whole body,
words screaming out from the red wounds.

Finally, he comes for me,
the one I long for.

Free me,
I don't want to paint anymore.

I want to hide the pictures,
make them go away.

He kisses my eyes,
wipes the tears away gently.

I cry freely, and he lets me,
rocks me in his arms.

His wings are tattered,
broken from his own fall from grace.

He guides me through the dark,
kiss my horrible paintings.

Save me, my angel,
don't let me hurt anymore,
don't give me any more pictures to paint.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Originally written to one person but then I realized he wasn't the one who'd kiss the tears and take away the pain

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