PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

I liked the rhyme in this. It pulled me down the page. And I could really identify with the feeling. I like it!

hehe "I did it again Same mistake as before I screwed up again And now you're walking out that door" this flows nice and rhythms well. "I didn't mean what I said To be taken that way Funny, this reminds me Of another day" yet this does not flow as well but it still flows good. and it helps to get the story behind the poem(i know i'm cheatin i know the story hehe) "I f***ed it up huge And now we're both hurt I feel so low I'm looking up to see dirt" this is good, i love the way u used f***ed in here it shows how when u do soemthin u think is wrong u get angery as well as sad.(and it should be f*ck*d, u use stars for the u and e) the only line i don't like is i'm lookin up to see dirt, it just seems kinda forced and choppi. "I did it again Same mistake as before So many chances I've had . . . Do I have any more?" i love this part it is yeah well just great, i kinda like the way it asks do i have anymore a bit bellow but i kinda would like it with the other part, but it seems to work well there, i'm just not use to seein a poem done like that. love ash

This hit close to home and it moved me completely! Your very talented with words and they seem easy for you to just fill out onto paper. good job Kate