Cease Fire
December 8, 2012
By Taylor Springs
please stop shouting
I can hear you just fine
I’ve got two ears
and a capable mind
your words
they hurt
I’m crying now,
cease fire!
we’ve battled
we’ve fought
I still think you’re wrong
but if I surrendered,
would you cease fire?
I haven’t hit back
with hands or with tongue
I’ve fought every battle
each day, since we were young
I’m torn between protecting you
and doing what is right
I’ve held you up for so long
but I am getting weak,
and you are getting heavy
I once was one
but now I’m two
with every word or slam of the door
I break into three and four
stones and sticks?
five and six
I lose myself
around eleven and twelve
I finally yell
I finally scream
I say
“If you can’t quit, I’ll leave!”
Pause
Silence
Crickets
Breath
Waiting for your choice was a mistake
because you only begin again
with every syllable, my heart aches
with every sentence, it breaks
why did I believe you were different?
what did my gullible heart want to believe?
what has my broken heart learned?
your words haunt me now
even they couldn’t make you stay
the sweet whispers in the night
were nothing but a lie
and I only heard the truth
when you were yelling at me
I’ve only made the bittersweet choice
of letting you leave
to prove to myself
that you aren’t what I need
I need to be better than the me you created
There’s a monster within you that I can’t ever tame
I struggle with change
and our battle was so comfortable
it seems we never solved that first fight
our constant debate grew tiresome
and the wounds grew deep
so I’ve decided it’s only best
if I leave
I’m going to look back, of course
for fear of what I’ll see
you once were somebody I deeply loved
but time has created a demon I cannot tolerate
One last glance from this far away
and I hear the muffled words
mangled by distance
All I can tell is that you are still yelling
I’ll always wonder, why do you do that?
Does it calm the storm inside?
Are you trying to drown out your own fears,
or bring mine to life?
Can’t you write or cry instead?
I only wish you’d let your pain and anger be free
Using something
other
than
Me.