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It's complicated.
That was always our answer,
For if the exuse wasn't family or someone else,
It was the timing or the lack of feelings suddenly.

We have been through a lot together,
But now that no longer means anything to you.
You were there when I was a mess,
When I needed to be held,
To be kissed,
To be touched,
And even when I needed to be controled.
You helped me with my problems,
My pain,
My issues,
My Ex's,
My hell.
It's crazy how much things can change,
When a new face shows up,
Or when new relationships build and expand.

Suddenly I find myself not even on the back burner,
But in the trash.
I don't understand how someone could chose a girlfriend,
Over their best friend.
Then when hard times hit,
You came crawling back,
And stupidly I accepted you with open arms.

But soon I was again replaced,
By someone who had no idea,
My own flesh and blood,
My baby brother.
That didn't hurt as bad as the first time.
He needs friends,
Men in his life.

Even through that,
We still remained friends.
But that again didn't last long,
For she returned again,
And I was old news.
Back to the trash can,
With all the other useless things.

Now we don't even talk.
A simple glance at each other,
Causes so much chaos for me.
I miss the old us.
The relationship where I could be loved,
Held,
Cared for,
Controled,
And taken care of.

Now instead,
I search for ways to get back at you.
Now I'm buddy buddy with her,
Now I look for horrible people,
Just to try and force you to step in.
I start fights,
Cause you pain,
And try and make you feel,
Just as you've made me.

But my attempts are useless,
You no longer want me,
You were right with what you told me in our last fight.
I am stupid and pathetic,
I am weak and useless,
Oh and don't forget the truest of all.
I am a jealous bitch,
Inlove with someone who hates her,
And I am stuck.
Stuck in my pain,
My now private hell,
For I lost the one person who could rip me out of it.

So now I suffer,
Wishing I had an undo button,
That I had just said I was sorry,
Wishing for forgiveness that will never come.

I miss the old us so bad it kills me.
What I wouldn't do,
For just one hug,
One smile,
One moment of you controling me and telling me how to live and act.

Oh well,
Good-bye my love,
Maybe one day you will see,
See who has always loved you for you,
And was never scared to be honest.

But I hope,
That I no longer will be there,
To let you pull me back in.
For one day,
I will be strong enough,
Strong enough to forget about you,
And move forward.
Til that day comes...
Well, here I wait.