Most days I feel like I wake up with another person on my back.

No one would ever know that my mind feels lost and body under attack. 

They yelling at me to do this and that. 

30 minutes more please orthodox meds take that long to work.

Still yelling, see sometimes being soft spoken don't work. 

Just give me 30 dang minutes now I feel like crap here.

Shock and confusion fall over the room. 

Eyebrows wrinkle, phones dial, and suddenly I'm the antagonist. 

I have lethal weapons parading around my body, daily, but you upset cuz you refuse to hear me.

Sorry I'm just hurting too bad right now is my matra. 

Please just give me a little time. 

The weight of my second person increases as the doctors ask how's my appetite?

You looking thin these day. 

A glance at the picture of perfect health often times escapes me. 

Often times I don't feel myself. 

I haven't felt like Kentina should since 1st grade to be honest. 

Again orthodox medicine and big business pharmaceutical companies love it when I'm 2nd place to healed. 

They put out cures for a hand full but we are legion. 

Herbalists and spiritual healers are mysteriously deceased before their truths can be revealed. 

So no, no apologies today for my pessimism and lack of sunrays. 

I try to keep to myself but they like to poke the animals.

My second passenger laughing all the way to where I thought I was going. 

Another apology for my absence. 

It's just that my body hurting from the weather. 

Feels like jack frost whipping me for a thousand crimes. 

Now I've cancelled on you half a dozen times I understand if you wanna leave me I never expected you to stay. 

I'm sorry God but did Jesus die for me to live this way?

This second person loves to think that way. 

You evil you antisocial and bring me close enough everyday to dying but won't tell me my expiration. 

You thought you had me

Nah I'm living everyday like it's my last in anticipation.

I just want my last laugh before I die like Curtis. 

Then I hope to be released from this burden.

Second passenger this is your final stop. 

I pray I get my way before the last shoe drops. 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Bad day to have Sickle Cell Disease...Just looking for a distraction. 

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