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Structured Suns
As the sun is up and light shines,
My life is wonder, no need to complain,
No desire to write these sad lines.
I am happy for the most, no real pain.
The sinister thoughts seem benign.
Daytime is good fun, no need to explain.
When I greet you, in day, I'm fine,
Few lies to tell, no mouth muscles to strain.
"Stay like this," a wish, life supine.
But as night falls, things i try to restrain;
Ugly, dark, pain, I disincline,
Bursting through flesh, onto my arms it stains,
Or worse, sanity, don't whine.
Can day not stay? I don't want to be slain.
Come now, let us descend.
Again.
No, theres no structure in night
Where your insecurities erupt.
Namely your loved life...
Or there lack of,
The main reason for incisions.
Retch on your imperfections
You undesireable thing.
Bleed your pain
You weak mutt.
Why have they turned?
Untalented, out of touch
Out of feel; Make them laugh
If they won't scream.
Affection is one sided,
You to them, or them to you.
Mutuality is a lie, you are broken.
SHE turned, not of proffessionalism
But of disgust.
SHE turned, not of conservatism.
But of common sense.
SHE turned, not of loyalty,
But of alienation.
What purpose do you hold,
If not to another?
You don't.
You won't.
Do not burden others
With burdens of your own.
THEY dance in your brain
Because they won't in your bed.
THEY fly in your eyes,
Because you won't in their hearts.
This is not dark, this is truth.
Vomit me your heart,
It is more use bleeding than dry.
Descend. Now. Rise tomorrow.
Regret the new addition then.
But now, find solace in your foolery.
Only then will you live
Whatever you have left.
