my last scream

Well… I would first want to say thank you.
I’m not sure if we are completely between anything, 

but I’m fascinated by this hope and connection. 

I want to be able to say I can look back with no regrets. 

I want to make sure the ones who loved me know I love them 

and I want to let the ones I love know that I felt their love. 

I’m trying to think in the most general… 

sorry, that might not be the point. 

Let’s see… The moments I remember. 

The moments I want to be remembered for. 

The good ones, obviously, generally. 

I’m not quite sure if I’m supposed to get something out of this,

Was this all just objective, is that truly what this all was?

Sometimes I hope it was, it would be easier to reconcile a life

Chalk it up to the paperwork, filings and weigh it out; feather and a scale.

No, that was the Egyptians. 

The moments. I fell into the hollow of your shoulders.

The warm elastic and hairs in those moments

Breathing together and looking up at you

And seeing all the love I ever wanted reflected back

Returned in exponential vibrance

Holding together all the meanings. 

Understanding and seeing beauty,

Being present with awe.

That’s what I still hope for

I’m hoping that’s what this all is.

I’m hoping for all those moments


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