Author Information
Boston
I carry an extra large coat
my throat is burning with anxiety
and the cough syrup still leaves me sober
I'm 2000 miles away from home
and my thoughts are all too common
I'm suspended over ice burning oil and scissors
200,000; a million...
the point of it all; creation
It started so well, suspended bright eyed, the wisdom of 24 hours, 36 the other shoe dropping 48 dollars, 76 added 5 miles and 40 bucks, an angry uber and an aggressive taxi
Relief of a familiar face; recognition
I learn the streets fumbling in and out of doors locking no questioning through alleys and crosswalks I'm suspended and burning my throat cuts razor bleeds phlegm
I want to cry I'm over talking, over analyzing, objectifying art and time
breathe
a home of a person known years ago
time fade adversity and creates understanding
she helps me...
same mannerisms; am I different
I'm sitting here after the leap
All I care for is the next 24 hours I will live art
We talk of art as the world
a few buildings and streets learned in a few hours
I put a price on creating, debt
The life given to a 200,000 B.M.
The life is small and expansive; it's important
We layout a box and call it the world fill in the lines and in the end judge if was a life well spent
I stay out too late and leave too early
my throat is burning...
I drink half a bottle of cough syrup and go to dinner to wake up and ground the voice in a room in a building for people who hold the key to the rest of my life in their signature
3% acceptance rate all around
They say life, art, full circle
Have a life strive for excellence
we are prestige but not pristine
She stays with me and builds me up
where does she stand
Im still suspended though I missed my train an hour back to the station I pay the way and make arrangements
I want it to be 5 years from now
or 2 hours ago
anytime but the moment I'm living
What does tomorrow promise
I get to an awkward encounter at 3 in the morning and go to an audition I don't want for a school I'd like and then an audition that I didn't want to go to
Give me money and a degree, I will create
The feeling is cold grey lime
the skin of metal scrapped against metal
the smell of dust and pressed cold air blown
A train station at 8:40; my train is halfway to New York a subway sits underneath me 200 miles away
I am home in 48 hours
That is a grey lime mute with the rest of suspension
April 1st
I gave up a long time ago
To be 19
The pretension and woes of life live on in every moment as fact and profound
I want rose colored glasses
I want the world the color of roses
my glasses fall off
first impressions lead well but nowhere
good word and talk is cheap
I want to be carried away
by acetaminophen from the bottle
Who am I to the woman sitting next to me
What do I look like
My box is filled with with colored roses
abstract and crude painted long before acceptance, understanding; actualization
filled in the middle is damp the top I want cut off; opened
the sky is beyond me
I'm in Boston and 4 hours late
I want the sky and accept rejection
I reject anything less
What does a bachelors in music get you
Give me the sky; I'll soar
I want so much I rarely think of love
182 strangers would fuck me and I them
I'm sure I'd fuck 1000 pictures and 1000 me
I hand my music to the man I met last night
I walk in the room recognized
I stand and push air, swallowing larynx, phlegm gargles
my throat is burning
they connect me to success
Have I ever exceeded
I use to shake my chest would tighten against my heart suspending Bononcini in a room worth more than my life decorated with expensive trash
Do I want pinkberry
I fill my time with meaningless spending
182 dollars, 200,000 dollars in debt
Who can afford 60,000 dollars a year
It's 1:50
I feel content
my life is balanced
I've been in an acetaminophen haze for hours and resisted sleep, I'll be in an apartment within the hour, knock on wood fucking idiot - 1:54, the train stops; shuts down. I am an omen.
Everything is going so well.
