Dread death, yet actions make you think I was checking out faster,
Can't comprehend, of my behavior - as if I wasn't the master,
Try to think, unable to remember any pure, unsullied elation,
Don't do drugs, once believed - but now in true need of medication,
Crimson conscience, idiocy - inside my mind a wonderful feast,
Losing life, prancing around the nothingness of all those deceased,
Again always, choices never play by the rules - never grounded,
Heartless hope, friends say worry not - but that's not how it sounded,
Unbelievably unnoticed, except by two,
To think - all others, "friendships" neither of us cared to renew.