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hi,

i just finished crying for 25 minutes, now i'm sitting at my computer,

licking my schrade pocket knife, staring at the mirror thinking, neuter...

me - feel like i've been up for a few days straight,

tried calling several times, surely don't feel great,

rushes of tender sadness fuel a warm headache,

wondering why the fuck i'm here, maybe god made a mistake,

could always carve something again, but the bandwagon is strong,

even i'm starting not to care about me: god screwed up - i don't belong,

what now,

who knows,

cutting and burning, cursing and poetry, isn't getting the job done,

i'll ask kindly - please notice me - veil of desperation weighs a ton,

people say they'll be there for me, they'll call me - of course they weren't and didn't

it's 9:40 in the evening, can't avoid absorbing each overwhelming instant,

compounded anguish, sorrow, despondency,

someone do something sometime soon - just the slightest sign you care about me...