hi,
i just finished crying for 25 minutes, now i'm sitting at my computer,
licking my schrade pocket knife, staring at the mirror thinking, neuter...
me - feel like i've been up for a few days straight,
tried calling several times, surely don't feel great,
rushes of tender sadness fuel a warm headache,
wondering why the fuck i'm here, maybe god made a mistake,
could always carve something again, but the bandwagon is strong,
even i'm starting not to care about me: god screwed up - i don't belong,
what now,
who knows,
cutting and burning, cursing and poetry, isn't getting the job done,
i'll ask kindly - please notice me - veil of desperation weighs a ton,
people say they'll be there for me, they'll call me - of course they weren't and didn't
it's 9:40 in the evening, can't avoid absorbing each overwhelming instant,
compounded anguish, sorrow, despondency,
someone do something sometime soon - just the slightest sign you care about me...