the night before - wonderful, today i'm alone and needy,
bored - i desire to be connected, loneliness and myself, aiming for a cease fire treaty,
no problem for her, she's trained - family and friends to erase from the fling,
me - i have no one - and to that fleeting passion i cling,
i can have someone that needs me or someone that I need - but never both,
so many painful longings, loyal to sadness - depression - my strongest unspoken oath,
stranded in limbo, with no support system around,
i sink deeper, to desire's dead weight i'm eternally bound,
why am i this way? hopefully a treatable chemical imbalance,
but i've already been down that cul-de-sac, what i have incurable to even the greatest talents,
between tears and wishing - i'm divided like fractions,
no defense, emptied of money and friends - the best distractions,
how should we trudge through life? - suffering to get by? brainwashing the heart cold?
it must be - core experiences support everything against what i've ever been told,
not of this world, for i'm so emotionally attached,
always unreciprocated - to me, the ones i want, they are never latched,
struggling over what possibly means the world, what should mean so little,
how i live day to day internally, still no solution - no wisdom - to life's riddle,
no one can see it nor do they particularly care, and why should they? drowning in such a vast, desolate ocean,
i beg for it to die, but it can't be killed, the root of my existence, my soul - my aching emotion.