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Reduced Speedball
3 AM, lines of cocaine, still rolling on the mainlining earlier in the night,
Heroin to get me off the couch, coke, then heroin, the oreo cookie to make it all alright,
I’m here, living room, music, alone, still I miss her dearly,
She doesn’t care, I rot, every evening I OD nearly,
Creating a will just so my parents don’t get the car, they’ve shocked me the most,
Being conservative, having strong values and supporting the constitution turned me into a ghost,
They don’t see me, and worse - I can’t even haunt them,
I know this, they could fix it all with minimal effort, but I’m phlegm,
If hell existed, those supposedly closest to me I would damn first,
The fake, fraudulent family members, blowing up the biggest balloon only to have the biggest burst,
A lack of action, a lack of support, a lack of all that could help,
They’ve willingly disappeared, deaf ears to every cry, every scream, every yelp,
I’m destroying the rest of my life, the physical part that hasn’t been demolished just yet,
Kim is the only one who cares - because she lives with me - the only connection I don’t regret,
Elise and family, trash, but blind to the fact due to possessing facades stronger than media might,
My hatred justified, my pain solidified, wasting away while acting like I just need a little Pedialyte,
Every reaction now lacks care, lacks taking the future into account,
They’re gone, trying to replace, the emotional deficit created too large of an amount…
