lost

I'm a bit lost at this point, i drink to remember but mostly forget.

I've lost friends and family but gained only some of them back

The ones I've lost are gone forever, i'll never be able to find them again

No matter how hard i try i can't reach them, they follow me everywhere, but are too far to grasp

I wish I could hold them once more, tell them I'm sorry

But it's too late, I'm already far gone

I'm convicted without memory, no past to talk about

Too many drugs and memories, i paid my price

This may be confusing to some, but to others it makes sense

I'll never go back, mainly cause i can't

No matter what i do, it wont change a thing

Suicide is no solution, just another escape

I drink to remember, but mostly just forget

I sound like a broken record, playing the same sad song

I'll never meet my child, or kiss my love again

They're gone forever, names and faces fade away

I made my choices, paid my toll, poor as they may have been

I have to move forward, it's all uphill from here

But i've trained my whole life, to fight battles i'll never win

But nevertheless i'll fight, because that's all i'm allowed to know

I write this fighting tears, only to see a blurry picture

I drink to remember, but I'll never forget the poor choices I made that cost you your life

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I wrote this while intoxicated because its the only way for me to be honest and feel human. When i'm sober i have to be fake to be considered normal...this is the life i have chosen. and this is my punishment

 

theanonymous1

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Spinoza's picture

I really felt this

 

I really felt this. I felt it, all the way to the centre.

allets's picture

Clarity

While physical faculties are fogged - I am not a robot when sober, I rarely drink or do drugs other than a tylenol and insulin. It is about seeing clearly and writing it down based on the stimuli of livign. Poetry is about humans and what they do. I don't get out so much anymore except family, but I read. so read about folks - great things are being accomplished, movements, students marching, prezidents lying. It is soooooo exciting 2019 and 2020 will be a hoot. Read it an laugh. They also have jokes on line. Try that and smile :D slc


 

 

allets's picture

Tired Of Living, Afraid Of Dying

some days you gotta look up to see bottom. Become addicted to reading. You write well. - slc


 

 

Theanonymous1's picture

rock bottom

Thank you for the compliment. it's difficult for me to write sometimes, so i appreciate this