Author Information
ava's doll
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five miles from nowhere
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a moment of clarity some people do say
(hi there,)
it was a day, I realised that I
loved driving slow.
languidly following a long
winding road.
(it's good to see you again.)
stopping to converse with hitch-hikers that I passed
along the way,
and following that big black tarmac on that
beautiful mundane day
(i have a question.)
the hardest part of the journey was
I wrestled with indecision,
of whether to play chicken, with
the closest exit,
or drive
glory bound,
(we're going deeper
want to come?)
down good ol' country roads.
where beauty green fields
give a warm hue
for the journey.
(uh, we're taking on water
and we're going down deeper
please will you come with me?)
into a sea
where everything at sometime
kind of made sense somewhere along the line.
and it feel real good
like that first taste of
life,
the good old fashioned way.
(i knew you would come.
well, here we go…)
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now where getting somewhere
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intersection loneliness had
got me throwing dices which
told me
the path to choose
but the odds,
were still on the house.
(i am the avatar of woe
and captain of the ship to the
watery below.)
so hard not to fall asleep
down these long
forgotten, roads.
but the tapestry, of what I could see
took your breath away,
the mastery of the image
was almost divine
(consider me a scorned lover
and, i've only got you in my eyes.)
then there she was by the side of the road
with her thumb pointing upward
(i'm a once in a life time taxman)
her sight fixed on the ground.
(and sorry pal, your accounts due.)
while the other cars just drove on past her.
pity them.
I could see hopscotch
promises. she was a
ring around the rosies
bitch.
(it is one simple thing that occupies
that tiny place
people call a mind.)
she sat silently still
with her head hanging down
and dolly in her hand
(that fear my passengers had
is all they talk about.)
but what I failed to see
in her other hand
was the silhouette of a gun
aimed straight
at me.
(the fear of dancing till the
owners kick you out.)
I watched her,
watched her simplicity
of complexity.
god, I knew her from somewhere.
then
slowly,
she turned and looked at me,
and really saw me
with eyes of translucent night.
she looked so fragile
(and at that time i'll come.)
like she was made of porcelain,
I wondered why this young girl
was walking the path I was taking.
it is not your time
let me out here please.
I pulled over.
she hopped out.
and watched me pull away.
in the rear-view mirror
I saw her reflection gradually
get smaller.
but I couldn't see the doll,
in her hand,
only the gun.
(we're here.)
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i don’t care just take me anywhere
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about five minutes later
down the beaten path I crossed
an event that I should have taken
part of
if I had only been a minute earlier.
a mustang 69,
a tired driver
fell asleep at the wheel
and crossed the centre line.
had collided with the true target
that passed me when I stopped
before.
the girl.
I killed the engine
legs paralysed by the dawning
of a new sensation
I could have died.
the smile of the doll
sitting beside me kissed my vision.
the girl.
(welcome to eternity;
heaven and hell.)
and on her pretty petticoat
embodied text of red:
(and as the captain of this ship
I do bid to you fair partings)
'this doll belongs to Ava'
(your humble servant,
noble death.)
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any place is better than here
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so now I see through
crystal,
everything is sharper now
more intensified, more real.
one moment
one moment of clarity
to my morality
angel blood being injected
slowly
is what I want.
I have decided to drive half the speed limit
and keep my eyes open wide
for the girl
with the gun
because one day, I'll want her to
come hitch a ride with me
to the other side of town
and I want her to crash the party with me.
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still five miles from nowhere
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