There once was a man named John Tatum
Everyone in his town, they would hate him
Whatever he heard
He'd repeat word for word
He'd tell it to you back verbatim
John had a sister, Mary Tatum
Most men, she didn't like to date 'em
She'd say 'All these men wanna do
Is to get me to screw
Don't wanna screw 'em, but I'll masturbate 'em'