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Art, his story
There once was a track star named Art
I'll let you know right from the start
In any meet he'd compete
Art would never get beat
Hope you're ready, here comes the next part
One time, after he won the 100 yard dash
Art thought his whole world would crash
When he took off his pants
All it took was one glance
He noticed he developed a rash
Art wanted the rash to go away
Couldn't wait, not even one day
So that he could relax, see
Art jumped in a taxi
Went to see his MD, who'd say..
'Art, here's a medicated spray
I want yoo to use it each day
As your trusted MD
If you listen to me
Soon that rash you have will go away'
Art did what his MD said
The rash didn't go away, it got red
It got irritated
Art was frustrated
Said 'I'm not going back to that MD, instead..
I'll ask my lover, my Queen
I'll ask my girlfriend Billie Jean
She's my Queen as I'm her King
She's a yenta, she knows everything
The smartest woman I've seen'
Asked Billie Jean 'Why has my rash stayed?
Someone else's problem, I'd trade
I've had it too long
I hope that I'm wrong
It's not going away. I'm afraid'
Billie Jean said "Honey, don't worry
I hope you're not in a hurry
Art, your rash stayed..I um..
I know you ain't dumb
I'll tell you 'cause your thinking seems blurry'
'I'm Billie Jean, your Queen, a yenta
You're my King, your needs? I put them at center
Honey, don't you remember?
It takes place every September
In Queens, at the Billiie Jean King Tennis Center
'Art, you need to stop mopin'
That rash won't clear up soon, despite what you're hopin'
Told you 'Art, your rash stayed..I um..'?
I meant Arthur Ashe Stadium
It'll go away when they..where they play the US Open!'
