Art, his story

There once was a track star named Art

I'll let you know right from the start

In any meet he'd compete

Art would never get beat

Hope you're ready, here comes the next part


One time, after he won the 100 yard dash

Art thought his whole world would crash

When he took off his pants

All it took was one glance

He noticed he developed a rash


Art wanted the rash to go away

Couldn't wait, not even one day

So that he could relax, see

Art jumped in a taxi

Went to see his MD, who'd say..


'Art, here's a medicated spray

I want yoo to use it each day

As your trusted MD

If you listen to me

Soon that rash you have will go away'


Art did what his MD said

The rash didn't go away, it got red

It got irritated

Art was frustrated

Said 'I'm not going back to that MD, instead..


I'll ask my lover, my Queen

I'll ask my girlfriend Billie Jean

She's my Queen as I'm her King

She's a yenta, she knows everything

The smartest woman I've seen'


Asked Billie Jean 'Why has my rash stayed?

Someone else's problem, I'd trade

I've had it too long

I hope that I'm wrong

It's not going away. I'm afraid'


Billie Jean said "Honey, don't worry

I hope you're not in a hurry

Art, your rash stayed..I um..

I know you ain't dumb

I'll tell you 'cause your thinking seems blurry'


'I'm Billie Jean, your Queen, a yenta

You're my King, your needs? I put them at center

Honey, don't you remember?

It takes place every September

In Queens, at the Billiie Jean King Tennis Center


'Art, you need to stop mopin'

That rash won't clear up soon, despite what you're hopin'

Told you 'Art, your rash stayed..I um..'?

I meant Arthur Ashe Stadium

It'll go away when they..where they play the US Open!'


Author's Notes/Comments: 




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