Author Information
Our nation, Al, an’ them
I'm Al. Yep, I own dis farm.
One of da sheep was having eye problems.
I'll ask one of da farmhands how she's doin'
Jose, can ewe see?
See ya later. Oof! Tripped over dis weird looking lamp.
Who does dis belong to?
Bye. (thud) Owns gnarly light?
Ya know my Chinese neighbor got sick? Such a dignified man.
What? So proud Li Wi ailed?
Yes, he's in da hospital. Don't like Marlboro 100's? Switch.
Get a longer smoke. Teeth look better. No tobacco stains.
At the..Try Lites. Last. Gleaming.
Li Wi got twin daughters. Crazy names. Born on Flag Day.
One is fat. The other smart.
Whose broad? Stripes. And bright? Stars.
I'm a rotten husband. My wife wanted a piece of fruit. I tossed it across da room. Started to argue wid me.
Threw da pear. I louse. Fight.
I visited Li Wi in da hospital. He was looking at a documentary on animals.
Saw only some of it.
Oh, the ram parts, Wi watched.
A lady came in. Probably his doctor. Where was he? In da bathroom, peein'?
Where's..Oh gal..ain't he streamin'?
Ya know who else's a patient dere? Dwayne Johnson. Has an eye infection.
Gives ya dat mean look.
And the Rock. It's red. Glares.
He came in wid his whole entourage of low-life's. All of dem rushin' in.
Da bums burst in..in 'ere.
One of dem challenged me to a chess match. Den he accused me of cheatin'.
Showed him I wasn't. Started to fight. Tossed some chess pieces around.
Gave proof. Threw the knight.
Who's barkin'? It's our dog. Named him after how his bark sounds.
Gotta take him to da vet. Been draggin' his hind leg for weeks.
Dat Arf. Lag is still dere.
Which farmhand milks da cow? One of da twin sisters tried but made a mess? She ain't allowed on my farm no more! Dat my aunt passin' by? Say hi, Yetta.
Jose does dat. Stars bungled? Ban her! Yetta, wave.
Why do I love livin' here? Da ground under my feet. Da fresh air. Don't cost nothin'. Also watchin' Jose tryin' to bust dem broncos. Dat sonuvabitch gotta be courageous to do dat!
Oh, da land, oh, da..free. An' da..oh, mutha brave!
