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Dick and Jerry
Dick and Jerry, two brothers with different mothers
Dick's mom was sweet, the sweetest person you knew, man
While Jerry's mom, well, wasn't even human
She was a car
A 1928 Porter. That was his mother, dear
She helped him through with everything he had to do
and he was so glad she was here
His mother...the car
Being a car, she couldn't enjoy the physical pleasures a human could
As Jerry explained in an interview, this led to a problem
'Mom was very horny, but she had no outlet for it
She would want to have sex with me, her own son!
I remember one time, she said to me
'Jerry, you know the key to turning me on?
It's in your pocket, baby. I want you to take it out
Mmm, it looks so nice baby. Now I want you to put inside me
Oh, yes baby, yes. Turn me on, Jerry! Turn me on!'
It took several years of intense psychotherapy before
Jerry was able to have a functional relationship with a woman
His brother Dick, on the other hand, was quite the ladies man
He wasn't satisfied with one woman though. He wanted more
After getting a job as a writer for a TV show,
he did get Moore. Mary Tyler Moore
The marriage didn't last though. After losing his job as a writer,
Dick moved to England where he started a new relationship
with a woman named Mary. However, like his marriage,
the relationship didn't last either. As Dick explains in his
autobiography 'I loved Mary, but she was always Poppin in
and poppin out. I needed more stability, so we called it quits,
which led to my drinking problem'
As we all know, Dick overcame his alcoholism, and went on
to become one of the most popular entertainers of our time.
He's still going strong at 97. Bless his heart!
Jerry Van Dyke died in 2018. He was 86.
I hope you enjoyed the story of Dick and Jerry Van Dyke
Until next time, as the late Jerry Springer would say
'Till next time, take care of yourselves and each other'
