Author Information
Anticipating The Inevitable
Tonight I remember the only thing so real and so true I believe it with everything I have. It's the only thing I've ever known. It means more to me than every memory, every happy moment. It's the reason I'm alive and my inspiration for tomorrow. I remember who I am again. I remember what I love. I would give anything to never forget. I am terrified.
No matter how hard I fight or how much I scream it will be gone tomorrow. I lay awake for days just trying to hold on to that thought. Maybe if I can focus hard enough or love it more it will never leave. I sit here shaking, consumed with fear, knowing that tomorrow I'll be dead again without so much as caring. It's like helplessly watching yourself make the wrong choice and dying for it. Stop. Rewind. Play. Again and again. Over and Over. Someday I'll remember again, but only in time to regret my life and forget once more.
Author's Note 2: Coming back to read this after 6 months, having so many times remembered and forgotten what I can today remember only the shadow of, leaves me self-defeated. And if that ever changes I will let you know.
