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Have You Ever
Have you ever seen the sun rise
And watched the colours changing hue?
Seen the colours turn from dark to gold,
And pink then blue.
Have you ever sat beneath a midnight moon,
Wondered at the stars aglow?
Thought about me as I do you
And wonder why my feelings don't show.
It is so hard to tell you
The love I have inside.
You are like the moon
And I the ocean tide.
They say time will tell
For she is our friend.
I am afraid if I wait
This will be the end.
I must be brave,
I must be strong.
Let it all out,
Can it be so wrong?
Give me a clue,
Show me you care.
Don't let me be alone,
When my feelings I bare.
If it is like this
And we are not meant to be,
At least I will know
And my fears will be set free.
Tanya...I just read most of yer postings and was impressed with your CAREING nature...its pleasant reading ur work...keep it up Jim
Ok, I tried to critique this once before and something went ary. Anyway, this is great, Tanya! Who the hell is going to give you any suggestions on this being better? Your use of verbiage is good, it is a very direct poem, and it sounds like a greeting card! If you haven't submitted to Greeting Card publishers, YOU SHOULD! It's great, thanks for sharing!
awesome job here.... i loved this one... well you know i always like what you write... and i think that only you know what you are really feeling when you write something.... and although we are here to help each other i don't think that this one fits that bill.... it is great ... face it... LOL... you are seem to be alot like I am .... I put something out there then think " oh man, what if they hate it"....LOL.... you have a style all your own... be proud of that.... do you dare to be different?????? that is what makes us what we are.... thank you for letting me read this... have a good day.... Renee'
Tanya, Hehehehe man, I know where to come now when I need to feel...I absolutely adore.....I throw them out there....and change them as I go along....so I cant say oh this doesnt work or that,,,,,,no one can tell you what you are trying to convey.....great job!!!
This is good....when reading you get the point immediately. And YOU know I understand :))