Once
when I was nine
I wrote a personal narrative essay
about a time that never happened.
I took home a class stuffed puppy,
dragged him everywhere for the weekend,
and lost him right before his return.
I panicked.
I looked everywhere-
the stairs,
the toy basket,
under my bed.
Then someone told me to look in my pockets
(like a medium-sized stuffed dog would fit in the pants pocket
of a tiny four-year-old girl)-
and he was there.
Maybe
the moral
of this story
is that I write-
draw out loveliness-
string together fiction-
to put in front of you
something I could never be,
bring you false gifts,
draw you a liar,
the only way to
make you love me.