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Puff.

Inhale.

I take in the smoke,

Letting my eyes fall shut,

If just for a moment,

Blackening out the day I never wanted to see anyway;

Letting that seductive scent fill my lungs.

Once, I breathed in your scent,

Tilting my head upward,

I blink away a stray, unwanted tear from my lash and

Exhale.

I push it out,

The smoke, the memories,

Mostly the memories,

And watch them evaporate into a world that won't notice.

I practice breathing without you.

I wonder if I'll ever get very good at it.

I guess I need time and

One more puff.

I inhale.

Look down, I notice the trenor in my hand,

My eyes transfixed by the sight,

I watch as colorless ash falls,

Soon to be forgotten, to the ground

Just to be blown away by a harsh wind.

I know how it feels.

I just watched my heart do that

Once upon a time.

[Exhale]

Some fairy tale that was...

That was funny.

Or maybe not so much.

I think I lost the humor in it.

You'll just have to explain that joke to be someday.

Until then,

One more puff,

Inhale,

As I look again to the sky.

What was I looking for anyway?

Was I searching for answers,

Some kind of truth?

I suppose I'm just checking for rain.

It feels like rain a lot these days.

I know

It's coming soon

I had better

[Exhale]

Get up off this curb.

Its a little cold outside.

I thought it was supposed to be spring.

I don't really mind though.

It's good to feel something, I guess.

Or maybe I just hope it will eventually make me go numb.

I sigh,

I flick the last of my cigarette onto the ground,

Crushing it under the toe of my shoe.

Good riddance!

I walk away

Telling myself

That really was the last.

I hope I mean it this time.