Puff.
Inhale.
I take in the smoke,
Letting my eyes fall shut,
If just for a moment,
Blackening out the day I never wanted to see anyway;
Letting that seductive scent fill my lungs.
Once, I breathed in your scent,
Tilting my head upward,
I blink away a stray, unwanted tear from my lash and
Exhale.
I push it out,
The smoke, the memories,
Mostly the memories,
And watch them evaporate into a world that won't notice.
I practice breathing without you.
I wonder if I'll ever get very good at it.
I guess I need time and
One more puff.
I inhale.
Look down, I notice the trenor in my hand,
My eyes transfixed by the sight,
I watch as colorless ash falls,
Soon to be forgotten, to the ground
Just to be blown away by a harsh wind.
I know how it feels.
I just watched my heart do that
Once upon a time.
[Exhale]
Some fairy tale that was...
That was funny.
Or maybe not so much.
I think I lost the humor in it.
You'll just have to explain that joke to be someday.
Until then,
One more puff,
Inhale,
As I look again to the sky.
What was I looking for anyway?
Was I searching for answers,
Some kind of truth?
I suppose I'm just checking for rain.
It feels like rain a lot these days.
I know
It's coming soon
I had better
[Exhale]
Get up off this curb.
Its a little cold outside.
I thought it was supposed to be spring.
I don't really mind though.
It's good to feel something, I guess.
Or maybe I just hope it will eventually make me go numb.
I sigh,
I flick the last of my cigarette onto the ground,
Crushing it under the toe of my shoe.
Good riddance!
I walk away
Telling myself
That really was the last.
I hope I mean it this time.