april 29th 1995 not a poem

If i only knew i would miss u this much i would have never fought with you. i would hav let u lock me in my room, and rip off my dolls heads. i would have never thrown ur bart simpson toy out the window. i would have said i love you joshy way more then i ever did. i would have thanked u for saving me from that cat and thank u for always looking after me. you are now my little angle on my shoulder telling me right from wrong. you are the one who knocks stuff off my dresser when ever i cry. if i would have known u were dead in the casket i would have kissed you. but u looked so happy i didnt wanna desturb you. but when i realised you werent at the hospital anymore you were gone, i watched power rangers over and over again and the lion king over and over because i couldnt handle missing you. i was so scared to sleep alone in the dark u always protected me. and in the morning i couldnt reach to turn the water on to brush my teeth i had from then on to do everything myself which made me stronger but i still cant hold back when this day comes and i try to hide all my emotions with laughter. i know u hate it when i cry. you were the only person to never get mad at me. everything u ever did for me i sucked it up and took care of my mom when i was only almost 4 years old. i had to save my mommy cuz i knew i didnt have you or a daddy. i see you in my dreams, and ill see you when im gone. but only if i knew you had cancer i would hav stayed at the hospital more n i wouldnt live with not seeing you that much. i didnt know you were gonna leave me out of no where. you never cried in pain when i was there because u didnt wanna scare me but i watched the movie they made of you and seeing u scream and cry of pain tore my heart apart. but i know you live in me because your always in my heart. i love you always and forever R.I.P Joshy i seriously miss u man and need you very much......<333



if anyone read that im sorry i just have to let my feelings out.






View sweetkisses91's Full Portfolio