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Caught in the Middle



It’s a quiet mid May afternoon in Chiapas, Mexico.  The sky is a crisp blue, and the clouds are as fluffy as marshmallows on a camp fire.  The men have gone out searching for work, while the women tend to the household chores.  Today, going by more rapidly than sand in an hourglass, the women are able to finish the chores and gather around outside their homes.



The women of the neighborhood gather around the front of the shelter.  They’re sharing their hopes and aspirations for their children in the future, hoping that one day they will come true.



Juliana begins to give her thoughts on what she would like for her daughter,



“You know what I want?  I don’t want my daughter to grow up like you or me.  I don’t want her to worry whether she’ll get dinner or if she’ll ever get out of this wasteland.  I want to see her get married to a wonderful man who will always be there; unlike ours who are out trying to find work but result in nothing.”



Another middle-aged woman, Rosa argues against Juliana.



“But do you honestly think that will happen?  Come on now!  Look at us!  We’ve all had those dreams, but they haven’t come true for us, why are you so certain that your dreams will?”



Rosa lives in the same area as Juliana.  Her eyes are large, nose a little too small for her face, and her mouth is a little crooked.  Her features were never the right proportion.  She is constantly swaying her long, black hair to the side of her head.  Unlike the other women of the village who prefer braids and buns for the same reason, so it won’t go in their face.  Rosa doesn’t care.  She likes things the hard way.  A pessimist people who know her would say.  Juliana likes to challenge her, and Rosa never refuses.  But somehow, they remain friends, not close ones, but good enough.



“You just don’t believe in yourself as much as you can!  You won’t let any of this come true.  I know I was the same way, but then I put my faith and trust in God and let him guide on the right path.”



The other women are a little surprised about how insistent Juliana is.



“I want what is best for my daughter.  I want her to have more than I’ve been able to give her.  As her mother, I must be able to nourish her, more than my mother was able to do for me.  Our children deserve more than this!”



Anabella begins to fidget in Juliana’s arms.



“Mommy!”



“But what if nothing changes?”  Rosa replies, “What if we are just stuck here, like we are right now, and nothing happens?  We can sit here and daydream, but nothing will change except for the shape of the clouds in the sky.  But if things do change, what do we do then?”



“I honestly don’t know, but nothing will change if we just site here.  I know in my heart that my dreams will come true.  It’s just about when they will come true.”



Everyone begins to depart when the men start to arrive.  Sweat drips from their face like a thunderstorm.  The wood floors in the house are creaking, and the cement walls are thin.  The fire begins to warm up the cold interior of the house for the night.  



“Do you ever stop?”



“Would you lower your voice, someone is going to hear you!”



“I don’t give a shit!  I’m tired of coming home, and this place looks worse than it does outside!”



The sky begins to cry, drizzling down water drops from its eyes.



“I hold the house up!  You just make a mess of it!”



“Oh, is that right, I go out and work all day, and I’m the one who does this!”



Juliana says nothing.  Her husband of eight years is starting to fade in her eyes.  Juliana, who is a middle-aged woman, has one child, three-year-old Anabella, with her husband, Mario.  She always sits tall in a chair, never slouching.  Seeing the slump of her mothers back made her know better.  Juliana was one of those hard to come by women.  She had striking good looks, flawless skin, and beautiful black thick hair that she always parted to the left and braided.  Her eyes were green, an uncommon feature in the area of the Chiapas, Mexico.  Juliana has never been afraid of Mario, and has always been willing to stand her ground.  Many of her peers don’t understand how she can be so bold, when men are so dominant.



“When Anabella gets a little older, I will go out and work again, I know there is work for me to do.  I’ll go work at a coffee farm!”



“A coffee farm, huh?  Good because I’m not going to be the only person around here who sweats all day!”



“Are you trying to say I don’t sweat?  You think taking care of a three year old isn’t work?  Are you out of your mind?”



“Juliana, calm down”



“Ha!  I’ll calm down when you start to respect me more!”



Mario gives up and goes outside for air.  He leans against the stone wall.  He was short, and so was his greasy hair; his face was starting to shine with wrinkles.  His cheeks were always blushing pink from the sun.  Mario wasn’t the quickest person either.  His walk was steady, and conscientious; he liked to pay attention to his surroundings.  



Juliana and Mario bicker and batter almost everyday.  Anabella sits in the corner of the room on a dusty, wood-chipped chair, that’s just her size; her father found it along the road one rainy day.  She sits in it and stares around the room paying close attention to her parents.  She wonders if they’ll ever be happy.  Why doesn’t mommy smile with daddy?  Anabella hangs onto her raggedy doll with the stitches torn, the fabric ripped, and the stuffing popping out of the dolls arm.  She didn’t mind that it was this way, she has never even asked for a new doll.  Juliana always kept a close eye on Anabella; she seemed to be too smart for her own good.



Mario and Juliana sit in the kitchen eating a small portion of their bread and cheese for dinner.  They must save some for Anabella and for the next day.



The rain starts to pour down harder as the sun sleeps for the night, the moon hides behind a dark cloud.  Juliana watches Anabella’s eyes shut as she yawns.



“It’s been a long day, time to go to sleep.”



Her face is so innocent; she looks exhausted from playing all day.  Tomorrow she’ll get up first thing and start all over.  Jumping and running with the little girls.  She’ll then ignite her imagination and pretend to be a mother, playing house and feeding her doll as if it were her own daughter.  Mario and Juliana then decide it was finally time for bed.



Soon the morning rose.  Outside was the same, like it had never rained.  The air felt different though.  Something was going to happen.  Juliana sensed it as she got out of bed.  Mario was almost done getting dressed for work.



“Today’s going to be a great day Mario”



“What makes you so sure?”



“I don’t know, the air smells different, don’t you think so?”



Anabella runs into the room and gives Mario a hug and a kiss on the cheek.



“Daddy!”



“Hey little girl!  What are you doing up so early?”



She runs to Juliana.



“Mommy, mommy!”



Juliana laughs and plays with Anabella’s hair for a little bit.  Her mind starts to wander about.



“Juliana!”



“What?”



“Are you dreaming again?”



“What makes you ask that?”



“Well your eyes widen up, and you have this silly smile on your face.”



“Oh, ha-ha.  Nothing.”



Mario shakes his head.  He makes a mental note: Juliana is in lala land.



Mario heads off to the market searching for work once again.  Slaving in the burning sun for a few dollars that will just get him a couple loafs of bread and a pint of milk.  He wishes there was something more he could do for his family, but he knows this was is plan from God.



Juliana in the mean time is working on chores around the house.  She dances around the kitchen singing a traditional folklore song that her mother once sang.  The skirt of her dress flares out every turn she makes around the room.  Anabella mimics her mother as she spins in circles holding the hands of her raggedy doll, giggling at the same time.  



Juliana then skips on over to the living area, where there are two old broken down oak chairs.  One chair has on short leg, making it wobbly.  The small table in the center is dusty.  Juliana loves this table.  She took it from an empty building when she and Mario were moving around the country.  She took a rag and dusted it.  Her house wasn’t fancy.  It was terribly unfortunate either.  She had what a home needs to have, which is furniture.  Most of which were found has salvage pieces from a variety places that they had been too.



“Anabella, wouldn’t it be great to live in a castle?  A place where people would wait on you hand and foot, and got you anything you wanted?”



Anabella just smiles.



“Yea, that’s one thing I know won’t happen.  Ha-ha.”



Juliana sighs and thinks for a moment.  Her eyes widen, as if she has just thought of an amazing idea.



“We should move to America!  Wouldn’t that be great?  Mario could find a steady job and we could have a nice small home!  We already know a little bit of English, and we could learn more!”



Giggles fill the room, from both Anabella and Juliana.  Juliana waits for Mario to come home as she finishes tidying up the house.



Everything seems to shine; from the stone floor, to the broken window above the sink.  Juliana knew something good was going to happen today, and that would be her idea of going to America.  What if Mario thought she was foolish?  How would they get there?



Juliana begins to speak to Anabella again.



“We have to get the right papers.  Your daddy and I have to go into the city and find out where we can do this, because if we are going to leave this country, we should do it right.  I remember when Miguel and Selma went to America, they got sent back here because they were illegal.  I want to go there, but I don’t want to come back.  I can’t wait for Mario to get home!”



Juliana begins to pace around the house.  She walks back and forth and back and forth.  She’s beginning to cast a dizzy spell on herself.  Juliana is both excited and worried.  Mario already thinks she’s crazy.  He won’t fall for this plan, but maybe he might.  Juliana doesn’t even care where in America she ends up; she just wants a small home, and Mario to have a steady job.  Then when Anabella starts school, Juliana can get a job too and then she and Mario can be financially secure.  Her idea could work, only if Mario was up for it.

Juliana got ready for Mario’s arrival.  She went to the bedroom and put the best dress she had.  It was old and completely worn in.  The paisley flowers began to fade on the fabric that felt like rope.  The dress had shoulder straps and it was knee length; a perfect spring church outfit.  She washed her face and did her hair so it looked just right.  Maybe this would convince Mario a little bit.  It’ll definitely make him alert that she was up to something.



Mario enters the door to their home and realizes instantly that something smelled fishy. He looked around the living room, pay attention to little details. How the photo leaned again the wall, how the chair was positioned exactly to where you could view the tree out the window.



“Juliana”



“Yes, Mario?”



“What’s going on?”



Juliana walked into the living room and Mario couldn’t believe his eyes.  He didn’t understand what was going on.  Why does she look so dressed up?



“Well, I’ve been meaning to ask you something all day.”



“Hm…  Oh really?  If it’s another kid, then you must be going out of your head for sure!”



“No, no.  Anabella will do for now, hehe.  Um… maybe you should sit down.”



“I’m afraid I’m going to break the chair, you made it look so nice.  Now go on.”



“Well...”



Juliana’s face begins to become tense with worry; afraid of the rejection that Mario is going to pour all over her, once she gives him her idea.



“Let’s go to America!”



“What?  Say that again!”



“Let’s go to America!  It’s such a wonderful idea!  We can use some of the money that we have saved up and go to the city hall and sign papers so that it would be legal for us to go to the country and get a VISA.  It would be wonderful for Anabella to grow up in a place where she could get the things she needs!”



“Yes, but?  I’m confused, we are just going to leave everything here and leave?”



“Well, I was thinking that we could just take the necessary items, and then we could try to find a job and then get a small place and then get things.  All we really need are food, water, and shelter.  Come on Mario, please say yes!”



“Let me think about it.  We have to make a very direct plan.  Moving is very serious, especially to a different country.”



“Ok, agreed.  Take your time.  Anabella and I will be outside.”



“Alright.”



Juliana gets excited.



“We’re going?”



“I replied alright when you said you were going outside, not that we are going.  Take it easy, ha-ha; I’ve just started to think it over.”



“Oh, ok.”



Juliana and Anabella enter the heat of the outdoors.  They keep in the shade and just giggle.  Juliana thinks to herself.  She hopes that Mario will take her side.  Going to America will be better for their daughter.  She’ll get a better education and job, and she’ll make a lot of money one day.



Mario paces the bed room.  His black hair is slicked back and the bags under his eyes get larger has the days go by.  He’s tired, tired of living in this place where nothing is going for him or his family.  Moving to America would be a great opportunity to perfect his English and to get a good job as well as make life easier for Anabella.  But at the same time he is living the only place he’s every known.  The place he was born and grew up; the place where he got married and had his first child.  There are so many memories; he doesn’t want to leave them just yet.  Although new memories will be created when and if they move to America, he can always visit them in his mind and if he ever decides to come back and visit his country.  This is a huge decision that he has to make.



“Juliana!”



Juliana runs in the door with Anabella in her arms.



“Well, are we going?”



Mario scratches his head.



“You know, I think your craziness is rubbing off on me, because we are going!”



Juliana screams for joy.  Her smile hurts it’s so wide.  She runs and gives Mario a huge kiss and hug.  Then she twirls in circles with Anabella’s hands in hers.  



Mario stands aside admiring Juliana in disbelief. His eyes are fixed on her as she continues to twirl.  He’s never seen her so happy, but now he’s happy too.  Mexico never made him smile, like he is now.  This change is going to have a huge impact on all of them.  Mario knows that he made the right decision.  Mario continues to let his mind wander.  He continues to picture him and his family in America.



He smiles.  Mario walks towards Juliana and Anabella.



“Can I join?”



“Of course”



Mario grabs each of their hands and twirls in circles with them.  As their new life awaits them, they won’t forget how they were caught in the middle of reality and fantasy, and how their dreams were coming true.