Author Information
Body
Birds tweet, man snores, dog drinks water, pain bores.
Sons sleep, alarm rings, pain burns, birds sing.
Water runs, immerser sounds, dawn breaks, heart pounds.
Radio blares, kettle clicks, strech out, ouch legs click.
Plates clatter, coffee strong, birds sing diffrent song.
Legs out back breaks sitting up for opiates.
Door bangs, engine turns, fall back down as bones burn.
Tears fall, heart breaks birds sing day light brakes.
Body tired, eyes sore. Another day not crossed the door.
The pattern you choose for
The pattern you choose for this poem---noun verb, mostly without modifiers or articles---gives it an almost ancient tone or other-worldly sound (being in a science fiction mood today, I could almost say interstellar sound). That certainly calls attention to the material you are presenting, and is an excellent strategy.
Starward
Thank you Steward.x
Thank you Steward.x