Where is my ass, a criminal case
I need to find it with great haste
I was sitting there, warming my cheeks
In an airport, near many possible sneaks
Suddenly I fell, and bruised my bone
My ass was missing, out on a loan
I stood to look and see the thief
The pilfering, insufferable little sief
Women fainted, babies cried
For the man without ass has no pride
Quickly covering my butt with a towel
I went after the crook, I was on the prowl
Through the airport, I searched all around
But the bottom swiper was not to be found
Dejected I returned to where my luggage was bagged
Which while i was gone had also been snagged
My head hung low, weighted with shame
When the excretion urge suddenly came
I ran to the john, but let out a howl
There's no longer an exit to my bowel