I,
I rose like cake to the occasion,
combed my hair with shaking fingers, rubbed eyeshadow over fluttering lids and walked through a shower of cologne just to meet you,
greeted you with ready hungry lips, sucked you into me and held you there and let you begin to consume me
we laid on my bed together and you moved my limbs for me, tied me to the mattress and put toothpicks between my colored eyelids, and began to speak through me
you made my body parts argue with each other, that they weren't playing their roles properly,
you told me that I was awkward and unconventional and maybe just not as smart as I thought, and it meant nothing to you, you're always the same, but I change and flipflop and self-destruct every day,
you,
you don't care
you caressed me slow until I crushed the toothpicks and crashed silently through curtains and windows and pillows of sleep to wake the next morning,
lying fully dressed, black eyeshadow on red pillows,
and a roach on my endtable.