Author Information
Closure
Closure
Sera-
As soft sunlight came in through my window, peaking inches above the horizon, my alarm clock rang to wake me for yet another dreadful day at work. My muscles felt raw and tired, but no matter how many times I was to hit the snooze button, the alarm would keep ringing. I forced myself out of my bed, finally, and must run to take a shower and hurry while getting ready to prevent being late to work. Of course, this was the same routine as any other day. Today, I would go to work, type in a computer, remember the breakup during break-time, and go home crying in the car after the day is done.
It’s not difficult to figure yourself out after many years of routine. It also isn’t hard for people that know you so well. So the day that Greyton left me, a year in the past, because he knew me too well, I learned more about myself than ever. I learned that I do things for other people and not for myself. I learned that, even though I give more than I receive in life, I am important to no one. Mother committed herself to drugs, Father left home when I was young, and Greyton--the one person I trusted with all of my heart, the one person that knew all about me--left me.
“I’ve lived a sorrowful life,” I think to myself repeatedly. But at such an age to say this! I’m merely 28 years old, and all I want is closure. My life is no want in the society, as a broken car to a new license owner. Unwanted, unfriended, un-liked. Who am I to be living and taking these emotions? I push these thoughts into the back of my head as I am getting ready, but it is still difficult to fully forget.
Grabbing my shoes and bag, I walked to the front door, ready to replay yesterday. I passed the mirror in the hallway, and stared at myself. I saw a young woman aging with depression. I hadn’t gotten a haircut in months, and didn’t even bother to put makeup on or dress up. Catching myself tearing up, I started to unlock the heavy front door. When I opened it there was a man wearing a shirt the color of a baby boy’s room with his back towards me. His shoulders were broad and he looked healthy, even if from the back.
He told me in a familiar voice, “Sera, at a year later, I have come to start a new assignment.” The voice was low and soft, just like....
The man turned around and as I gasped, tears came to my eyes. The tears slid down my face and burned down their tracks into my cheeks. They felt bitter, yet sweet, just like...
“Greyton..”
He walked into my house, indubitably knowing where everything was. Shock hit me with a diamond bullet. Who was he to make me feel lonely and stupid, and then walk into my house casually, only telling me of some ‘assignment!’
“What are you doing here, Greyton? You can’t just make me feel like this and then waltz int---”
“I’m here for an assignment. It’s heart-tearing enough that I was assigned to you.”
“Well what is that supposed to mean?” my heart tore and fell to pieces as I looked into his eyes looking for an answer. The gleam in his eyes was there no more. The sparkle of happiness and love was not visible to me. He has changed over the year, not the Greyton I loved.
“I’m here on an assignment,” he spoke so carefully, like a computer.
“I ask you this question, and I do as you wish. There are no second chances, and it’s as simple as that.” He finished his speaking and turned around to admire the painting he had always loved. He looked the same as he did last year. I felt the need to run over to him and be held in an everlasting hug, yet I just stood there, in my own living room, confused as to what was going on. But at this stage, there was really no more I could do about it. I have given up on this in all. I was losing patience and just wanted answers!
“What is the assignment question? Where is this freaking assignment coming from??”
“I can’t tell you any information until after you answer the question. If you had the choice to live or die in the next 2 hours, what would you chose? The choice you make is final once you say it out loud, and it cannot be changed once it is made.”
My reaction and feelings were simply un-describable. This can be my escape. I wouldn’t be considered suicidal, more so murdered. A chance being given to me. A chance. All I want is closure. All I want is to be free from this world of hate and lies.
“Be careful with your decision, Sera... It can’t be changed, and a lot can change in the two hours before. I will give you an hour to chose. Once you have chosen, it will be put into action within an hour of the decision.”
Could there be any more rules than there already were? It’s my choice of life or death, and I had to be given rules??
“Greyton, I already have my choice. I want to die in the next two hours. Kill me.”
Greyton-
“Greyton, I already have my choice. I want to die in the next two hours. Kill me.”
As the words jumped out of her mouth, swimming through the air, into my ears, my heart skipped a beat. My eyes shut and I only saw black for the subsequent seconds. To imagine killing my love--my thoughts were interrupted by words.
“Greyton just do it now. I bet you’re dying to do it anyways, right? Want no more with me? Kill me now.” Her words pained me so. Why would I want to kill her?!
“Well, you’ve made your choice. I need to tell you why I even had to end i--”
“Yes, tell me what made you end it all of a sudden! Please do! Because after waiting and thinking of why, and obviously still not knowing, I deserve to know now! Do I not?” She came out with cold and sarcastic and angry words, strong enough to give frostbite. Ignoring the hatred I was receiving, I went on with the story.
“One day, someone came to my door, and gave me the same choice. I was happy, living with you; I had a great time. I chose to live and wouldn’t have wanted to die at all. After making my choice, the man told me that now I had to go to people, asking them this same question. Or else you would be killed, and I couldn’t risk it. So far everyone has chosen death. But I couldn’t possibly be with you while being a murderer. And a few weeks ago, the man came back and told me that I had to ask you this question. I still love you.”
Out of breath, I had nothing else to say. I stared into Sera’s milky blue eyes. The eyes that taught me trust and joy. If I looked closely enough, I imagined little stars floating around in the smooth color. Soon did I notice though that she was crying. Shuffling to get to her before she fell in tears, I pulled her over to the couch to sit. As soon as I tried to hold her for comfort, she quickly pushed away from me and stood up.
“Well then let’s go back to the way it was,” Sera started smiling like she hadn’t for months. She wiped the tears off her face and her cheeks glistened with the new tears, of joy. It hurt me to think that it wouldn’t stay.
“Sera, you can’t change your mind,” I quickly said. She started sobbing and I did the first thing I could think of. Trying to make Sera’s pain less, I took the gun, looked away, and fired. For a second I heard the cries of pain, but as soon as it came, it left. I watched the blood slowly surround her body and stain her worn out white shirt. Her body was so slim, I could feel the life being sucked out of her. My ears were ringing and her sobs were silenced. After the deafening gunshot, the house was so still, I could swear I heard dust hit the ground. My heart sped up, yet it felt still.
And all of a sudden, I was alone. My skin was bumpy, my face was wet, my hands were sweaty, and my mind was screaming. As I shakily brought the gun to my head, I thought, “You never made the right choices anyway, Sera. Yet, I hope to see you soon.” My heart dropped and my body chilled. Laughing at the painting of a flower with one baby petal left on it, I pulled the trigger.
