College Love


Freshman year in College was exciting, but I guess everything good must come to an end. I remember her like it was yesterday and the beauty that captured my heart I will never forget. Her eyes, hair color, face expressions were all beautiful.

It was a beauty that I wanted to become part of, but that didn’t happen. Sometimes I think back to the past where we once had a friendship that was incredible. She had everything I ever seek for in a young beautiful girl, and most of all she had my heart. Her style was amazing how she match every outfit she wore. Whenever I spoke to her when we were friends she always had a brilliant answer. Everything she said was good to my ears, maybe I was just trying to hear everything good. We were friends that freshman year in college, and I wanted so much more. My heart was falling in love with this person who I had the pleasure of knowing each day I saw her. Elena Rosa, her name alone makes me nervous and tempers my heart knowing I’m not even friends with her.

She has short black hair that comes slightly over her shoulders, and her skin is cream colored, beautiful like a pearl. Her eyes are green and more beautiful when she wears her nice glasses. I remember when I first made her smile, and how it made me smile as well. Every time I used to make her laugh or giggle, I felt like it made me closer to her. I used to sit next to her in every cl*ssroom we had together, and we even sat at the same table in the cafeteria. We were good friends, and I loved every moment I was with her. The more I got to know whom she was I started to like her, and admire her personality. I found myself writing about her.

I wrote private things in my journal like my feelings, because I know if I had told her any it would have made her feel uncomfortable. I think letting her know everything I felt would make our friendship awkward and it did. My friends in college were curious about the things I wrote, because it was so profound. They asked whom I had been writing about, and I would mention her name. They were in shocked to know I had feelings for her, but not disappointed. Elena is an attracted girl. My friends always saw her and me as friends not something more than that.

One of my friends encouraged me into asking her out, and little did I know it would be the end of our friendship. “You know what happened when you wanted to go out with Serenity, right?” There was a time a liked Serenity. My friends always rubbed that in because I had a chance but I never went for it. She went out with someone else instead. I liked Serenity in high school and I still do as a friend. I always said to myself I will never go out with her; she’s out of my league. When I finally wanted to ask her out someone else asked her out the same day. If I were brave enough to ask when I wanted to maybe I would have had a slight chance. So, I didn’t want that to happen again. I asked Elena out, and she declined my offer. I was not hurt but glad it was out of my system.

When my friends heard about what had happened they tried everything they can to convince her into going out with me. “He’s a good, give him a chance,” that said so many times it made her feel uncomfortable. The good intention my friends had setting us up together, made a big gap between her and me. She got so annoyed with people trying to make her go out with me. They were getting on her last nerve, and to make things worse she started to dislike me. She gave me bad looks and ignored everything I did to get her attention. I tried to stop people from getting in her face, but they did not listen. I explained to her how this came about, but she did not give me chance. Sophomore year and not one thing have change, but the friendship I once had with her. I have tried several times to make her realize I’m not a bad person, and all I want is a friendship.

She refuses to have anything to do with me since that incident. I have given her letters, roses, and a poem saying all I wanted was a friendship. I did these things not to make her feel overwhelmed, but to realize I’m a good person. The beginning of my college freshman year was great, but went terribly wrong in the middle. Day after day I thought of many things that would change her mind about me, but everything I did failed to capture her attention. I remember the first time I cried for her because I didn’t understand. I was in my room looking at picture of her that I took in that year and I started to remember how things were, and how it has changed. Someone not being my friend for no serious reason whatsoever is unbelievable. I came to a point in my life that I stopped trying. The one thing that hurts me the most is seeing her every day thinking why? I love to be her friend I love having friends. It hurts me every time I see her knowing I can’t be her friend. I can’t even speak to her or be near her knowing she wants me to disappear. Now, I seriously don’t like this gap that shouldn’t be there between us. Only if she would give me a chance things could have been different. Sometimes I think she doesn’t care about me even I live or die. She has no sympathy on how I feel. Something that started out so good in the beginning ended in a tragedy. She broke my heart and created a silence between us forever. I would have given up everything just to speak to her once more. This year she graduates from college and feared the day we part forever. I guess everything happens for a reason. I just wished before that freshman year was over we could have had an opportunity to sit down and clear this matter.

My friends dislike her attitude to the whole situation. That’s pretty much of my first love in college, a tragedy. I miss the way we used to be, but sometimes I think how it would have been if the incident never happened. All I can do is move on with my life, but have the worst memory of her. Even this day it hurts me to know I can’t speak to her. Sometimes I get lost whenever I look at her, like my whole world shuts down just to concentrate on her. It’s not like I did something bad to her I didn’t do anything. That’s one thing that bugs me, knowing I didn’t do anything to her.

If I could control the past, I would have never asked her out or showed my journal. I never thought that sometimes expressing yourself could have serious consequences. I never knew this was going to end like it did, but at least I tried.

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