Author Information
Three for Tea
"Howard Dundercorn! You dunder-head! What are you doing?"
"Just givin' your boots a shine like what you asked me to, m'am."
"First of all, I most certainly did NOT ask you to shine my, er, boots! Secondly, the greasy rag you so enthusiastically peddle is now shining my SATIN SLIPPERS!"
Ms. Flabbergas gave a swift kick of said slipper and sent poor Howard's shining kit skidding and bouncing across the cobblestones. Howard looked at the rag in his hand stupidly, then again at the black streak he'd worked so hard to procure from the silky pink of Flabbergas' pointy-toed shoe. He scratched then. First his head, then his backside, and finally his nose. He gave a great snort and stood, the snap and crackle of his back and knees were just
another bit of music to Howard. He stretched further to crackle a bit more then limped onto the road to grab the bits and pieces of his kit.
Ms. Flabbergas sighed. She felt terrible for her outburst, not only had it been less than lady-like, but uncharitable as well. She felt an uncomfortable tug in her chest as she watched the bent old man scuttling the streets, dodging the careless footsteps of passing strangers. "Oh dear. I am becoming a wretched bitch in my old age."
Stepping out of her ruined shoes, she hurried into the street after Howard. "Watch out please. Please do watch where you're going!" She pleaded with the crowd, who parted to make way for her ample form.
"May I help you, m'um?"
A dirty young boy in worn knickers smiled up at her. He whistled through his missing front teeth, and his large brown eyes twinkled above red cheeks.
"Why thank you, young man. I appreciate your kindness."
"Not a bit, m'um! I'm glad to help!"
The
boy was swift, dodging the finely-clad calves that rushed by him. He seemed an artist at dodging, really, and in no time had gathered every bit and piece of Howard's shining kit.
Ms. Flabbergas clapped her gloved hands enthusiastically. "Good show! Good show!"
The boy grinned and took Howard's hand. Howard looked at the boy, then at the kit that was tucked under his thin arm. He shrugged then followed the youngsters quick step as best he could with his crooked gait. Ms. Flabbergas stepped forward quickly. "Thank you, young man. I am sorry for letting my temper get the best of me, Howard. Why don't the two of you come along with me. It's nearing noon and I am feeling a bit parched. I would enjoy some company for tea."
Ms. Flabbergas had been sure the boy's grin couldn't spread any larger, but she found she was wrong in this assumption. Pink cakes and flaky crumpets floated behind his eyes. He let go of Howard's large, callused knuckles and grabbed her small,
gloved hand. "Let's go, then! How about it, old man, you want to have tea with a fine lady?"
Howard reached for his kit and scratched. "A bit of tea would be nice, m'um."
"Well then I'll just slip on these." She pushed a foot into their pink slippers and skipped along with her two counterparts.
"Yes, it will be nice to have some company. One for tea can get lonely."
"Cakes and sweets!"
"Would you like your other boot shined, m'um?"
Ms. Flabbergas laughed.
"I'm sure I can find some boots for you, Dear. But let's worry about eating and drinking first."
"Yes, m'um, I suppose that will do."
"You're right." Ms. Flabbergas smiled. "It will do just fine."
