Author Information
I See the Dream
I see the dream.
I touch,
I feel,
I break.
Just like all the others.
It’s coming for me from on high.
An avalanche of living flesh,
Collecting bodies.
Gorging itself on the lifeless
Sleeping through the sleepless night.
It was barely visible at the peak,
But momentum has gained as time waned.
It is now obese with life,
With memories,
With eyes.
All penetrating me, waiting for me to lie with the rest.
I run
But my legs contort,
Twist with the wayward wind,
And I fall
Through an abyss too afraid to look at me.
I awake to nothing.
No skin grazing skin,
No loving bedfellow to whisper sweet nothings.
I have bled sweat and now swim within
The crescent waves of untidy bed sheets.
The sun creeping through broken blinds is
Too metaphoric to bother deciphering.
Another day and my self pity evolves
Into self loathing and then back again.
I had more purpose when I was injecting it in to my vein.
I live in the squalor I have made for myself.
I shower less and wear the same clothes day after day.
My parents worry.
I worry.
Where does one go from here.
I have severed myself from all umbilical ties;
No family but the insects feasting on my lethargy.
Mirrors seem to be everywhere
Just to remind me of my presence,
To make sure that, yes, I am here, alive.
So I buy pets to fill some invisible void that I can’t define.
But my mind wanders
And what was half full is empty once again.
I daydream of apocalyptic scenarios
Where all problems cease to exist
And survival is the only tool left.
Because I am good at surviving.
It’s just the living part that causes me to stumble.
I want to be the last to walk the earth
Just so I won’t feel so alone anymore.
I write to shed the patina that has grown on me.
Layers of think scum just slide away with every word.
But I’ve been backsliding and I’m barely visible within.
I write for a blind audience of my own making
And I’m tired,
So tired
I dread that bed of mine but know that when it calls
I will come.
I will sleep
And I will dream.
I see the dream.
I touch,
I feel,
I break
Just like all the others.
It’s coming for me from on high.
An avalanche of living flesh
Collecting bodies.
Gorging itself on the lifeless
Sleeping through the sleepless night.
It was but a pebble
But with every personality it ingests
It grows in to an unforgiving boulder.
I stand at the bottom of that mountain
Watching the fates of others decided by gravity.
I could run but I’m tired,
So tired.
I see the kaleidoscope of the living conformity,
All of their memories remembered the same way
Just with different flavors.
And their smiles haunt me as they lay within the path
Of the usual, the normal, the sane.
And I want nothing more than to lie there with them.
So my knees buckle and I float to the ground,
I succumb to an irresistible happiness that it is over,
That my times has come and why I haven’t I done this before.
I can hear the rumble, my eardrums burst,
My body vibrates from the shaking ground.
It’s so close now.
I’m so close .
Everything will soon be alright,
Just one more second,
One more moment and…
I awake…to nothing.
