Hit Or Miss

Someone saw me falling

Off a cliff; off a precipice

I slipped, and fell

After just one, sweet, kiss

The bottom's coming fast

So please just tell me this:

Are you real or are you fake?

And did I hit, or did I miss?



March 2, 2004

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Jacquie Watts's picture

I think the main reason I really like this poem is the fact that it's short, but still retains a very powerful, yet simple, point. :)

I also read your quotes in your bio. I gotta admit, it's rare that I find anyone who's actually seen Finding Forester/Beautiful Mind who geniunly liked them as much as I did. *Laughs* Power to the people who prefer movies with a point

Daniel Cole's picture

A great, mood encapturing piece of writing. I also enjoyed the rhythm to this poem and thought your rhymes were well crafted. Only one thing that caught my attention, was that it seemed that the last line was slightly too long. Thank you for posting.
Daniel.

R. Lynn Wilson's picture

"...and we fall as if we never really mattered." -Pete Yorn

great write... i like the flow of this poem. it's got a rhythm that makes you inhale sharply at the last line. very sweet.

thanks for checking out my page... :o)

Lasohnda Harris's picture

this is short but well expressed