Dear Steve

Folder: 
Letters

Dear Steve,

This pen scratches out

On an empty white sheet

Of college ruled paper

Over a tattered book

That I only use to write on

Because nothing else is big enough

To hold all my thoughts of you

As the days and weeks and months go by

And soon, I'll be saying,

The years.



Dear Steve,

I think to myself

As I remember our lives

Growing up together

In this dirty little town

That sold its soul to commerce

While we remained true

To the individuals that we were

Even though we were troubled

By not being like everyone else

Until it finally killed us both.



Dear Steve,

I say to myself

As I half pray to God

To keep me from going insane

But then I remember

How I don't believe in God

At least, not for me

But I always ask him to take care of you

As I imagine you walking along

A lonely road so far from me

In a world that I could never comprehend.



Dear Steve,

This hand puts down

On a perfect piece of paper

As it shakes

And messes up your name

So I have to throw the page away

And start anew

With another piece of paper

And another deep breath

Fortifying my nerves from breaking down

So I can finally say what I need to.



Dear Steve,

I whisper, half asleep

I'll be alright

You don't have to catch me anymore

'Cuz I've already fallen to the bottom

I've hit the wall and jumped over the edge

But you see that I'm still here

I've taken my beating

And cried my tears

But I'm still here

Watching you watch me.



July 1, 2002

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Gotta love it when your friends kill themselves....

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