PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

I can't write poetry to save my life right now, which I've been trying to do so that I could avoid ranting and raving about my problems, but what can one do.



I've made the move and have gotten used to the lay of the land up here. Things are pretty calm and I've even managed to find a job. I have no social life and basically nothing to think about or look forward to. We do nothing. We go nowhere. We have no one to talk to during the day. My roommate seems content with this life; I am not. Generally, I keep my thoughts blocked and controlled. But they do some times surface, generally when provoked by the conversations I have with people back home.



I have no reason to be up here. I have no reason to go home. I have no reason to get up in the morning outside of work, which is just another job I took because I had to. I have no reason to live other than trying to continue interacting with those that are already a part of my life.



There is no drama in my life, but no direction either. There is nothing to distract me from the gaping hole that is me, at my very core, and my blatant lack of relevance. I have no passion, no true vision and nothing to move towards.



I have tried to center my endless frustrations for the way that I think through different forms of creativity. I have tried to utilize many different voices, none of which have been able to truly unleash me in the way that I wish to be unleashed. I want a reason to be. I want something to be enthusiastic about. I can't grow like this; I can't be of any use to anybody and I can't allow myself to become a better human being like I so desperately want to.



I want to know that I'm of some worth to this world and the people that live in it. I want to prove to myself that I am somebody special. I want to truly recognize that I am a good, honorable person.



But I'm not, and continuously prove it to myself every day.



Maybe one day I will "balance out" like I'm supposed to, and accept that the world is sad and that my life was always supposed to be sad as well.



Until then, I'll continue my complains to Postpoems, and you guys will just have to deal.