PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

Things are okay, I guess.



Work's been getting better as time stumbles on by. As I learn all of the tricks of the trade, I become a little less intimidated by the job itself. And that's good, I'll probably be there a while.



I suppose that as I become more accustomed to things, more comfortable, I become a little less focused. Or, in other cases, I lose all focus entirely. This seems to be the case with my drawing, writing and anything that involves school. I don't really know what I'm supposed to do about it. The more I try to keep aware, the less I can keep my eyes open. Everything gets a little bit blurry.



So Diamond's taken me back to middle-school days. Where there were those few bits of people that make everyone else's lives a little harder then they need to be. Honestly, while I was at Oak Hills this year, there wasn't much of it. There was the occasional younger set that think they're hot stuff, but that wasn't anything to be concerned about. These are the older people, and you'd think that by now, they wouldn't fucking care if somebody plays Pokemon or Yu-Gi-Oh or whatever. I haven't experienced much other then this prick Jordan getting on my ass. I don't really know how long I'll be able to tolerate him, it's not bothering me too much. He's actually older then all of us. You'd think he know better. Guess not. When that Tony guy stood up for me in Personal Law... Well, that restored my faith a little bit. It was really nice of him to do so, especially when I really don't know him very well. He was in my Health class last year and we talked from time to time. And when I saw Ken stand up for those guys in English, that did as well. There are some good people out there. It's just getting a little more difficult to find them.



My dreams have been really irritating lately. I've dreamt about people and places that I'm getting desperate for, and these are more or less taunting me. It's nice to wake up and, atleast for a while, think that the dream had actually occurred. It's just when it hits you that it was all in your head; that's when it tugs at your mind a little.



Tomorrow's E-Day, which I really don't give a shit about. It's a little less time around the people in Personal Law other then Elliott, Tony and Christine I guess, but that's all. Now if it got me out of math, that'd be another story.



So I've been a little lonely lately. I suppose what's been said in the past was right, I do always need a girlfriend. And it's sad. I doubt I'll be getting one for a while. I'm just glad I haven't involved into the type that'd date anyone, though I guess many would see me as that kind of person.



I don't really think that my confidence has been quite this low since seventh grade. I'm not sure why, but I've been feeling endlessly sorry for myself for no reason. I haven't really been whiney (..other then in these posts, I guess) but I can't seem to shake the emotions that bring me into a strong state of moping. It's one of those drag your feet and hope somebody else notices, just so you can say nothing's wrong. It lets you know that they do, in fact, give a shit about you.



I guess by now I'd just want an extremely affectionate girlfriend. Cuddly, talkative, shares similar opinions or interests. And thanks to family AND friends, I'm even more nauseated with politics then I ever have been before. I'd rather have the kind of girl that makes me forget that there is a real world out there, and that they're blowing everything up. I don't really know if that'll happen, I just know that I need to stop relying on that one little hope, because it's fucking annoying when it doesn't come out quite as planned. Having a Democrat Mother/Sister and a Republican Father is just asking for trouble, especially when there's an (attempted) neutral-party in the house. Sure, I hate Bush, but I know nothing of Kerry. Nor do I want to.



This song always makes me think that something of importance or desire is getting closer, and the singing is probably some of the most soothing sounds I've ever heard.



First paycheck is late next week, and the new MK: Deception and KoF: Maximum Impact have been/are being released a week apart. Right before I get paid. What a beautiful world we live in.