I kept waiting for the right time to do this
Only to realize that there is never a right time
I kept looking for the right words to say to you
I didn't want to hurt you
But there aren't right words.
I'm sad that it came to this, but I can't help
The way that I feel.
And while I love you so much,
I just don't think we fit.
We aren't a match. We were never
Meant to be. And I can't tell you
How sorry I am.
I rehearsed all the things I could say.
Trying so hard not to sound callous
Or cruel. But it doesn't matter, because
The second I open my lips to tell you.
That I can't keep going on like this.
All the pretty little speeches that I've written
Will fly out of my head, and I'll be left standing
Stammering, and scarlet.
Because as much as I want to be nice.
I can't be. I should have been quick
And decisive, but instead I've drawn it out
Into this melodrama, this all consuming
Aspect of life. I just don't want to seem
Heartless, and I don't want to hurt you.
But spending so much time thinking about it
There is no way to do what I have to
Without hurting you. And I wish you the best.
I'm not good enough for you, because
I'll never return the feelings that you feel for me.
I don't feel the same way, and while I wish I
Did, somewhere... deep down, I don't.
And trying to pretend that I do,
Well, it's not going to do either of us any good.
I hope we can stay friends. But I don't expect
That that will happen. And I hope that you
don't hate me, but you probably do right now.
And you're within your right. I'm sorry that
I allowed this to linger to this point, but
had it gone one longer, I think I would have
hated you. And I would have found
The cruelest and most painful ways to hurt you
Just to see the pain in your eyes.
And I didn't want to do that to so.
"I'm sorry but I'm not right for you, you met me at a time in my life where I wasn't ready for anything as serious as this, and I can't keep going with the flow our relationship has taken, because later, I'll hurt you even worse that now. I wish you the best in finding someone who is going to love you the way that I wasn't able to. And I hope she's half as good to you as you were to me"
9:00 AM 4-17-05